Everything Changes
by IrrevocablyHis
Summary: Bella starts coming to terms that her relationship with Jake is over and not what they thought it would be. Edward has decided to give up on the whole dating process. What happens at a chance meeting on a night out? AH, possible lemons later.
1. My Beautiful Disaster

My first attempt at writing, ever, so please bear with me.  
Non-beta'd and of course SM owns it all.

* * *

AGH!!! I love my job! I love my job! I love my job!

I do, I love my job. Being editor-in-chief of the newspaper is great, it's what I went to school to do. But being called in for an emergency on a Saturday afternoon because of some dimwit that can't figure out a layout that works for Sunday's edition, just like every other week, when I'm in the middle of an argument with Jake about, about, about, I don't even know what it was about. Here lately all we do is argue, the trash needs to go out, the dishes need to be put away, who's going to cook dinner, why didn't the vacuum get run today, why do we order out so much, there's dirty laundry on the floor, there's clean towels left in the dryer and none in the linen closet and Jake decided to jump in the shower before checking for towels and then decided to streak to the laundry room to grab a towel effectively dripping water the entire way but then neglected to clean up the water. Like I said …. AAAGGGGHHHH!!!

On my way home from the work emergency, I decide that I am definitely in need of my tried and true stress relief tonight, Eclipse here I come. I sure hope it's not to busy with other people anxious to take the mic because I think I need more than just one turn at mic tonight. I'll ask Jake to come even though I know he's going to say no, he used to love listening to me sing. He would drop anything, was always my biggest supporter and loudest audience member when it came to cheering me on. But over the last year or so getting him to come out with me has been like pulling teeth. And that was about when the fighting and arguing started getting bad. I'll still ask him to come with me, I won't be the one to stop trying. But I know my girls are always up for a night out with me. It's been a couple weeks since we've been out, I'm sure the Eclipse regulars have missed us since we are usually there every Saturday night. Maybe I'll even ask Jake to watch Sammy after he says no and see if Leah would like to come out with the girls tonight.

I walked in the front door, exhaling a deep breath, taking a look around only to find that Jake is still perched upon the sofa, game controller in hand. It doesn't look like he has gone more than 5 feet from that sofa the entire 3 hours I was gone. Okay, I'm not going to let this get to me, but I'm not going to apologize for this morning either. Here we go….

I go sit next to Jake on the sofa and decide to try using my womanly wiles on him. "Jacob," I say as sweetly as possible while lightly running my fingers up his arm to his shoulder, across his collarbone then back and finally to the back of his neck and into his hair. "How about we go out tonight? We need to get out of this house, and after everything this morning, here and at work, I could really use some time with the mic. It's been weeks since I've gotten a chance to get out there and sing. And it's been forever since you came with me."

"Bells, I really don't feel like going out tonight. I just want to sit home and relax," he says while not once taking his eyes off the TV screen.

I knew this would be how it would go. I asked and he said no like I knew he would. I'm not even going to try to change his mind, I know it's pointless. "Would you mind watching Sammy tonight if I can convince Leah to come out with me and the girls?" I ask, still using my sweet voice.

His eyes open a little wider, but still not taking his eyes off of the TV. "Yeah, sure, sure. If you can convince her, I'll watch little man."

I can see a smile starting on his lips. His beautiful, pouty, soft, kissable lips. And he is beautiful. Tall, dark and handsome. He was always cute growing up, but the man he has blossomed into is remarkable. And not just easy on the eyes, but a dream come true. I'm not sure where he learned it with his mother passing when he was so young and his father always working to support him and his sisters by himself. But he truly is what every girl dreams of when she pictures that perfect guy. He towers above me at six foot two, he has short but shaggy black hair, just long enough to run my fingers thru and grab hold, dark, always tanned skin, deep soulful brown eyes, well built body with broad shoulders, defined arms, chest, abs and legs. He's always polite and chivalrous with just enough "bad-boy" edge to him so that he doesn't appear to be the "good-guy." He's got a great sense of humor, although it's been a long time since I've seen that side of him. Owning his own bike shop is stressful, I get that, but I just wish he could leave work at the shop and stop taking the stresses out on our relationship.

"Ok, well I'm going to go next door and talk to Leah then." I plant an open mouthed kiss on his neck just under his ear, sweeping my tongue across his warm skin. Nothing. No reaction what so ever. It's four o'clock in the afternoon, we don't have children, and it's just us in this apartment, nothing stopping us from being spontaneous, dropping everything and having some time between the sheets in the middle of the day. Or on the sofa or dining room table or kitchen counter for that matter. But no, that doesn't happen anymore. A kiss like that used to get a reaction. Ten years ago, when I would do that he would have attacked me. He wouldn't have let me out of his reach. He would have grabbed me by the waist, pulled me against his rock hard body and peppered my body with kisses until I was begging him to take me to bed. Now, I get a grumbled "ok," and am easily able to walk away and out of the room. We've lost it is all I can think and I don't know if we can get it back.

I walk next door and knock on Leah's door. "Coming, just a minute," I hear, followed by a high pitched squeal of laughter and the pattering of tiny little feet running. "Oh, hi Bella, come on in," she says as she opens the door clearly out of breath and steps aside to allow me to come in.

As I step in I hear more squealing, faster patterning and then, "Bewwa, Bewwa, Bewwa." With just enough time to crouch down and open my arms Sammy is running towards me and jumps in my arms. "Bewwa, I misted you aww day," he says while giving me a big bear hug.

"Aww, I missed you too little man," I tell him while standing with Sammy in my arms and hug him back. "Are you and Mommy playing?" I ask and he nods his head then nuzzles it back into my shoulder while keeping his arms around my neck.

"Hi, Leah. How have you been? You look a little worn out. This little guy not letting you a moments rest?" I ask chuckling. I know the answer, Jake and I watch the little guy often and we both know how active he is. Unless he's sleeping, he's constantly on the go.

"Yeah," she laughs, " he keeps me on my feet. Best exercise program around."

"How about a bit of a break and coming out with me and my sisters tonight? We're going down to Eclipse for some karaoke and dancing." I can see the hesitation and interest on her face. "Come on, we'll have a great time. You haven't been out with us in soooo long. And Jake said he misses his little buddy and would love to take him for the evening." I tickle his ribs and laugh at his giggles.

"You're right. I really could use a girl's night." A smile spreads across her face, thankful that I've already covered who will watch Sammy.

"Great, I'll be back in two hours. We'll get this little man next door and then we can get ready together." I grin and set Sammy down. "I'll see you in a bit little man. I'll go give Jake the good news." He takes off running to his room. "We'll order pizza so don't worry about dinner." I say as I turn and walk out the door.

I walk back into our apartment and let Jake know the plans for this evening. I can see the smile now very apparent on his face. He sure does love spending time with that little boy.

Leah had Sammy all ready with a bag for his evening with Jake when I knocked on her door for the second time today. Sammy looking more excited than Leah. I smile at his excitement and quickly walk him over to our apartment and grab the second pizza to take with me back over to Leah's. Jake had pulled out a couple of the games we have specifically for when Sammy comes over and changed out the Xbox for the Wii. In all his time with Jake, Sammy has mastered the Wii and on occasion beats out Jake without Jake letting him win. Sammy will be four in a couple months, but he is so smart.

Back at Leah's we grub on the pizza and get ready for our night while sharing the latest celebrity gossip. It's just us girls tonight so we dress to feel good, not worrying about trying to impress anyone. Leah pairs a red strapless baby doll top with dark wash boot cut jeans and black leather boots. I have dug out my pair of grey skinny jeans and matched it with a dark blue jewel toned, asymmetrical top that comes up over just one shoulder, leaving the other bare and my favorite pair of black ballet flats. Just as we are finishing with up, we hear Rose and Alice giggling and knocking at the door. I open the door while Leah grabs her purse.

"Hola chicas," Alice bounces in. "Is we ready?" she asks, her excitement very obvious. If there is anything Alice loves more than girl's night, it's girls night out for dancing and karaoke.

We head nod our heads. "More than you know." I say trying to keep my frustrations to myself, but I see Rose give me the eye. Sometimes the twin bond is great, and for as outspoken as Rose is, I'm thankful she knows when to keep things to herself.

"Alright, let's roll," Rose says with a wink, letting me know that she'll wait to talk until I'm ready. "I'm D.D. tonight so you ladies can let loose. All I ask is that no one gets sick in my baby." We all giggle. None of us are heavy drinkers. We know when to stop. And even if one of us were to take in a bit too much, Rose keeps a stash of trash bags as a precaution.

The ride to Eclipse is short. Any ride when Rose is driving is short. I'm not sure how she does it, but she's never gotten a ticket for speeding or otherwise. We pull up and it looks like it's pretty busy tonight. Hopefully I can still get a couple turns at the mic. Lucky for me I called Peter, the owner of Eclipse, to let him no that I would be coming tonight with my girls and he said he would save us my favorite table, close to the stage area but off to the side.

We walk inside and I immediately spot Peter and thank him for saving us a table. "Peter, it's so nice of you to reserve a table for us when it's so busy in here tonight."

"Oh, it's a pleasure to have you here tonight. It's been weeks since you've been in. Some of the other regulars were starting to ask about you. Some of them come just to hear you sing, you know. I may have to start paying you and promoting you as the entertainment one of these days." Peter said with a grin on his face.

I give Peter a hug, "you know that won't be necessary. Peter, you've met my sisters Rose and Alice, and my friend Leah." He shakes their hands and walks us to our table.

"Allow me to buy the first round of drinks for the most beautiful girls in the place. I'm sure you ladies will be having drinks sent your way all night. What can I start you out with?" Peter is such a flirt, but as bar owner it's just part of the business. Good thing his wife is understanding. But he's right, Rose, Alice and Leah are all gorgeous. Rose and her long blond hair, sparkling blue eyes, long silky legs and over all model figure. Alice has long brown hair, similar to mine but with more wave and body. She's a smaller package than me and those that don't know better think she is my twin. Alice and I are very similar, except she has glittering green eyes while I have boring brown. While I'm the oldest, even if only by 4 minutes, I'm the plainest. Don't get me wrong, I know I'm not ugly, but I'm no knock-out like my sisters. Then there's Leah, she tall and slender with long straight dark brown hair and deep brown eyes like Jakes. Leah is a beauty like no other, but she doesn't know it, she's too modest for her own good.

"Oh, Peter. You can only say that because Charlotte is home awaiting the delivery of your first born." A huge smile crosses his face because he knows I'm right. The love those two share is admirable and like no other I've ever seen. "I'll have a bay breeze, and can we each get a glass of water as well?" He nods. The girls each order a drink as well, Rose gets a tequila sunrise, her first and only drink of the evening, Alice orders a rum and coke and Leah gets a Vegas bomb. Hmmm, that sounds promising, I may just have to order one of those for myself. "Peter, can I get a Vegas bomb too? Just put it on my tab."

"Nonsense," Peter states, waving his hand to dismiss my insistence on paying for my own drink, and walking away.

I exhale loudly, letting the atmosphere of the bar soak in and start to relax me. I need to get to that mic and start the evening off right.

Alice is the first to speak up. "What's with the sigh, Bella? You look like you have something heavy weighing on your mind," she says with a raised brow. Her and I don't have the twin bond, but she has always been very intuitive. "How are things with Jake?"

I sink my head into my hands and take a deep breath. When I look up I see all three pairs of eyes looking at me inquisitively. I close my eyes and press my lips together in a straight line between my teeth. "I don't know anymore," I say honestly. "We have been best friends for the last twenty-six years. We have been together as boyfriend and girlfriend for thirteen years. You would think by now we would be married with a kid or two or at least working toward it. But to be honest," I take another deep breath and decide it's time to be honest with myself as well, "as much as I know that I want that one day, I still don't want that right now. For as long as we have been together, you would think at least one of us would be pushing for it." I look at Leah, "I love little Sammy so much and have ever since you two moved in when he was just an infant. You would think seeing him and spending so much time with him, which I absolutely love doing by the way," I say as I grab Leah's hand to let her know I'm sincere, "you would think it would get my clock a tickin' and make me want a baby with Jake." I shake my head in disappointment with myself. "What's wrong with us? What's wrong with me?"

"Wow!" the three of them state in unison with eyes wide open.

Rose touches her hand to my arm to let me know she's there but not wanting to intrude.

Alice squints her eyes, not being one to hold back, she asks, "how's the sex?"

"Alice!" we all practically scream at her.

"What?" she asks like she's surprised that we are shocked that she would ask. Usually it's Rose that would ask these types of questions, so we all were a bit surprised. "Under normal circumstances Rose would have asked that question." she said looking at Rose with squinted eyes. "But since it looks like she's playing 'understanding twin' tonight…. Look, someone had to ask! Your sex life will tell you a lot about your relationship." We all just look around at each other in acknowledgement that she's right.

"Well," I start and at that time Peter walks back over with our waitress for the evening with our drinks. Looking up at Peter, "thanks Peter, you are too good to us."

"Oh it's nothing, just showing my appreciation for the angelic voice that brings in the crowd." I look down at the drinks that were set in front of me, blushing at his praise. "Ladies, this here is Jessica and she will be your waitress for the evening. She just started two weeks ago, so be easy on her." he says with a wink. "Enjoy your evening ladies, I must get back to business but if there's anything you need…"

"Thank you Peter," we all say together sounding like Charlie's Angels and giggle.

"And thank you, Jessica, I'm sure you'll do wonderfully. If Peter hired you then we have nothing to worry about." I tell her. "Can you please put my name on the list for karaoke? I'm ready to get up there and I'm thinking I'm going to need a few slots tonight," I say looking around my table and then let her know, "and a least one spot for all of us together." I say with a grin.

"Sure thing, I'll make sure you're first up. From the way Peter talks I'm sure no one will be upset if you get pushed to the front of the line," she says quickly and animatedly. "Let me know if there's anything else you ladies need." With that she walked away with a bit of a bounce in her step, enough to make her ponytail swing widely side to side, making her way up to the karaoke stage to let the djay know. He looks up towards us and winks, seeing us for the first time this evening.

I turn back to our table where the girls have returned their attention to me, waiting for my answer to Alice's question. I take a deep breath and look down into my drink, contemplating what to say. I look up and decide to stick with what I think is a non informative answer, "look guys, I really don't want to discuss my sex life right now. I just want to relax and have a good time and maybe momentarily let go of some of my stresses. Can you girls help me do that?" I look around and they all nod in affirmation. I turn to Leah, "Ok, let's do this!" I say holding up with shot glass and larger glass of liquid that came with the shot.

She lifts her shot glass while I put the larger glass back on the table and Rose and Alice pick up there drinks as well. "To Ladies Night," I say with a smile on my face. They follow suit and we clink our glasses together, ready to start our evening. Rose and Alice take a dainty sip while Leah and I drop our shot glasses into the larger glass and down the drink. Not realizing we have attracted the attention of surrounding tables with our toast to ladies night, we giggle and grin at the whoops and hollers of our audience.

At that time the djay announces that it's time for the karaoke to begin and with that he introduces me as if I'm the main event. "First up we have our house angel returning after a three week break, please everyone welcome back, Ms. Bell-ah!" The room cheers as I walk up to take the mic. I lean into the djay to let him know my selection, taking the mic and then continue to center stage. I prefer the accoustic or unplugged versions of songs when at all possible when doing karaoke, to me it just feels more honest.

The beginning piano notes of Kelly Clarkson's Beautiful Disaster play and I close my eyes, ready to get lost in the music. I open my eyes ready to put my soul into the words, I begin…

____

__

He drowns in his dreams  
An exquisite extreme I know  
He's as damned as he seems  
And more heaven than a heart could hold  
And if I try to save him  
My whole world would cave in  
It just ain't right  
Lord, it just ain't right

And as I hit the vibrato I feel the stress start to slink away and I'm getting in my zone. With my eyes closed so they don't betray me with tears, I continue.

Just before the I reach the lines of the final chorus, my tears betray me, one slips down my cheek and I quickly wipe it away.

____________

Oh and I don't know  
I don't know what he's after  
But he's so beautiful  
He's such a beautiful disaster  
And if I could hold on  
Through the tears and the laughter  
Would it be beautiful?  
Or just a beautiful disaster

He's beautiful  
Lord, he's so beautiful  
He's beautiful

I step off the stage and back to my table still a bit choked up. The surrounding tables offer a soft round of applause as I take my seat. I'm greeted with a hug from Rose, then turn to the table only noticing that another Vegas bomb is waiting for me. They know me well.

I drop and slam my drink, needing the cool liquid to calm my nerves. Rose just looks at me, she knows. I can't hide things from her, as much as I may try, but she never holds it against me. After a few moments she tries to take my mind off of Jake by pointing out the guys that have gotten her and Alice's attention, both standing at the bar grabbing a couple beers and looking around for a place to sit. Ooooh, hey hot stuff. Typical of Rose and Alice, they don't hold back when it comes to men. They are both very open with what and who they want and make no qualms about making sure they get what they want. As they notice Rose and Alice in return, they raise their beers as if to say hello. The girls giggle and return the sentiment by raising their glasses then taking a drink. Then they realize that there is a third guy joining the first two. With moans, groans and grunts of approval they turn back toward the table.

"Ladies," Rose starts, "I think we all need to step up there and do our thing together. What do you think? _A Praise Chorus_?" We all nod and let the djay know that we are ready for our group performance.

We wait for another group of girls to finish their rendition of Like A Virgin which is always an interesting song when the karaoke-ers have had a few drinks. And the night may still be early, but it's apparent this group has had their share of drinks already.

The djay invites "Bella and her Coven" up on stage, I give him a friendly glare because he knows I hate when he does that. He covers his mic and lets me know "maybe next time you shouldn't stay away so long" with a wink. Geesh, you would think I hadn't been here in a year. But it's nice to know I've been missed.

We step up on stage and the girls start nudging each other making sure everyone notices that the three guys are still watching us and don't seem to notice the barely dressed women next to them that are trying to get their attention.

"Okay ladies, let's just have fun and not worry about the handsome triplets over there. This is ladies night, remember?" I point out.

With a quick "yeah, sure" from Rose and Alice and an eye roll from Leah as the cymbols start, we grab our mics and get ready to begin. And the shoulder shimmy starts with the beat while we sing.…

________

Are you gonna live your life wondering,  
Standing in the back,  
Looking around?

______

Are you gonna waste your time thinking,  
How you've grown up,  
Or how you missed out?

Things are never gonna be the way you want.  
Where's it gonna get you acting serious?  
Things are never gonna be quite what you want,  
Or even at 25,  
You gotta start sometime.

We obviously have the undivided attention of the guys, or should I say, Rose and Alice have the undivided attention of the guys, so we do the only logical thing there is to do. We turn towards each other, ignoring the guys and sing to each other, all while dancing around, shaking what our Mama's gave us and enjoy ourselves.

________________

I'm on my feet I'm on the floor I'm good to go.  
Now all I need is just to hear a song I know.  
I wanna always feel like part of this,  
Was, Mine.  
I wanna fall in love tonight.

'I just want to be in love again, period' I think to myself. We near the end of the song and the girls sing together while I take the overlapped lyrics. __

_Crimson, And clover, Over, And over._  
_Crimson, And clover, Over, And over._  
_Crimson, And clover, Over, And over._  
_Our house in the middle of the street_  
_Why did we ever meet?_  
_Started my rock 'n roll fantasy._  
_Crimson, And clover, Over, And over._  
_Don't don't,_  
_Don't let's start._  
_Why did we ever part?_  
_Kick start my rock 'n rollen heart._

_I'm on my feet I'm on the floor I'm good to go._  
_So come on Davey sing me something that I know._  
_I wanna always feel like part of this,_  
_Was, Mine._  
_I wanna fall in love tonight,_  
_Here tonight._  
_I wanna fall in love tonight,_  
_Here tonight._  
_I wanna always feel like part of this,_  
_Was, Mine._  
_I wanna fall in love tonight._  
_I wanna fall in love tonight._  
_I wanna fall in love tonight...._

We bow and curtsy as we take in the cheers from the crowd and make our way back to the table. I flag down Jessica and ask her for another round of ice water. Singing and dancing really gets me going and I've learned the hard way how important it is to stay hydrated.

The djay announces he is going to play a couple songs shortly and invites everyone out to the dance floor. We look at each other and smile, knowing they couldn't keep us off that dance floor if they tried. We each drink our water and rest for a moment. Leah and I decide to take a trip to the rest room to freshen up. Rose and Alice decline stating they are "fresh to death." It doesn't go unnoticed that they haven't broken eye contact with the man candy since we returned to our table.

Leah and I excuse ourselves and make our way to the back of the bar thru the crowd. Of course we make sure to pass directly in front of the guys just for shiggles, saying "excuse me" and making sure to place our hands somewhere on each of them, an arm or their chest, with a wink we continue on. I may be in a long term, although dead, relationship, but I can still flirt with the best of them.

We reach the rest room and I step to the sink to wet a paper towel to dab my face to help cool down. This is why I don't where a lot of make-up, a little eye make-up and some lip gloss or chapstick even, and I'm ready to go. I've never been high maintenance, and it seems Leah is the same way. Maybe that's why we get a long so well.

Leah steps up next to me at the sink and takes in the look on my face. "Is everything ok, Bella?"

I look up at myself in the mirror and notice I'm on the verge of tears. "No," I say with a sigh.

"I don't mean to be nosy and you can tell me to mind my own business if you don't want to talk about it, but, well, you know we live right next to each other, and I don't mean to eaves drop but the walls in the apartment are really thin and sometimes I can hear you and Jake fighting," I look to her and see the look of concern on her face. "I try to turn the music on so that Sammy doesn't hear…..I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said anything." She looks down, internally berating herself for saying anything.

"No, no, it's okay. We're friends. I'm sorry you've had to listen to that. And even more sorry that Sammy may have heard us," I look into her eyes trying to fight back tears yet again but not doing a very good job as a few betray me and streak down my face. "We just … I don't know … we just fight over everything lately. I love him, I do. But I just don't know anymore." I shake my head slowly, trying to think of how to explain it. "We have been best friends since we were two years old, but it just doesn't feel like we are meant to be together like this anymore." Another deep sigh, "I just want to be happy again, and I want Jake to be happy again. Happy like when he is when he's with Sammy." I look to Leah and see a bit of guilt in her eyes. "Oh no, it's okay. It seems like the only time either of us is happy lately is when we are with Sammy. He brings such joy to our lives. Which is why I'm so confused about that other stuff like I was saying earlier. I'm so thankful that you moved in next door to us and brought him into our lives." I give her a hug and realize that we are still in the bathroom. "Jake is such a great guy, he deserves constant happiness and we just don't seem to have than anymore."

"You both deserve that kind of happiness," she says with sincerity in her eyes. "Come on, let's get back to the girls at the table and see what we can do about making sure we can all be happy, although I don't know if you could find a guy more perfect than Jake."

"Yeah, that sounds great. But trust me, he's not perfect. If you've heard some of our fights then you know all about his bad habits," I say with a laugh. "Maybe I'll just let you have Jake," I winked at her and we walked out. As we walk back to the table I realize I just told another woman that she could have my man, and I don't even feel bad about it.

We get back to the table and see that we have extra people at our table, three extra people to be exact. Rose and Alice both look at us with big grins and a mix of apology and permission written across their faces, silently asking if it's okay that they join us. I just shrug my shoulders, take a sip of my drink and subtly start dancing with a tilt of my head to let them know I'm headed to the dance floor. Looking to the guys, I start mouthing the words and slowly walk away backwards, pulling Leah with me _I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a flirt. Soon as I see you walk up in the club I'm a flirt_. And with that I turn with Leah on the dance floor and happily make a spectical of ourselves. But it's all in good fun and humor.

Rose and Alice join us as the next song _Sexy Bitch _starts and we all dance together. Grinding and dancing, dancing and grinding. Always being mindful of our audience. We make it thru _Shots_ by LMFAO before returning to our table to re-hydrate. Jessica has learned quickly to keep ice water on the table for us. She'll be getting a nice tip at the end of the night.

* * *

I'm quite nervous posting this, so please let me know what you think and if I should continue or just quit.


	2. The Voice of An Angel

I should have know better, guess I'm just a glutton for punishment. If there's a secret to meeting women that aren't just interested in my last name and what that means. I worked hard to get where I am and what I have. I refuse to touch my trust fund, for now anyway. As a pediatric surgeon I make enough to not have to worry about depending on the trust to support myself. Mom and Dad did a fantastic job with all of us, me and my twin brothers Jasper and Emmett. We all worked hard thru school and made sure we made something of ourselves and became more than just rich pretty boys that live off of old money. Mom and Dad have done well for themselves as well and were able to put all three of us thru college and then law and medical schools without having to dip into the trust fund as well. Not only that but they also instilled in us a strong work ethic, morals and values. And of course Mom made sure we knew how to treat a lady as such. Mom always said chivalry was dead but she was bringing it back to life. She would have our heads if she ever caught us not opening doors or pulling out chairs. I just wish she would have shown us how to find a special lady that isn't just after the Cullen name or money. I shouldn't have to pretend to be someone I'm not just to meet an honest woman that isn't so materialistic. That wouldn't be very honest of me, so I don't hide who I am but I do put them thru a test of sorts.

Take today's date for example. That's right, I said today, as in day time. For a first date I don't try to get romantic, I want to get to know the person. Don't get me wrong, when the right girl comes a long I will do my damnedest to woo her, pulling out all the stops, nothing will be off limits. But until I find her, I need to know she's with me for me, not my bank account. Often times I will take my dates to D.C. to walk thru the zoo or thru some of the museums, it gives us plenty opportunity to talk and get to know each other. Which is exactly what dating is supposed to be about, getting to know each other.

There have been a few times when my brothers and I have all taken dates to a baseball game together. Those are always interesting. For being twins, Jasper and Emmett couldn't be more different. While their physical traits aren't far off from each other, their personalities are quite different. Jasper and Emmett are both tall and naturally well built like myself. They both have dark blond, somewhat curly hair, Emmett keeps his short while Jazz likes his a bit longer. Emmett has blue eyes, Jazz has hazel eyes and I sport green ones.

Emmett is quite outspoken and can be down right crude at times, but we all love him and his dopey ways regardless. Hard to believe he is a family law attorney. Jasper on the other hand is quiet and reserved but still has a sense of humor that makes him fun. If a date can't handle being around my brothers, especially Emmett, she has to be able to give return his verbal assault with good humor, then she's not going to last.

But for today's date I decided to pack a lunch and we went into D.C. for a picnic in front of the Washington Monument and had plans to walk around the city just taking in the history and beautiful spring day. Jasper would be proud of me. Emmett prefers to hear about the dates I take to the zoo and their reactions when we stop by the monkeys. He's a big monkey himself so he will spend all day by the monkey exhibit talking to what we call his other brothers. You can tell a lot about a person by how they respond to the monkeys, that's for sure.

So we found a nice spot by the monument and I lay out the blanket and start taking out the food I had prepared. And almost immediately she starts complaining. Then asking what we are doing after lunch. Apparently she thought I was taking her shopping today. Every time I tried to ask her about herself she would avoid the question and tell me about all the things we could be doing instead. Finally I couldn't take it anymore, and once we were done lunch, which I seemed to have eaten all by myself, which was a bit uncomfortable, I decided that it would be best to just take her back to her place. What a waste of a beautiful spring May day. I'm still a gentleman so I still open the doors for her and walk her to her door, but politely decline her invitation to stay for a bit. I make no promises to call again and return to my car and head home. I'm sure the guys are just going to love this one.

On the way home I decide that we need a night out, as long as they don't have other plans of course. It's been a while since I've picked up my guitar or sat down to my piano so Open Mic Night at Breaking Dawn is out. If they see me in there they will expect me to take the stage and it's just been to long without practice to attempt that one. Plus I need to learn a couple new songs before I go back in there, and lately I just haven't been motivated to do so. But man is it a great stress relief, especially after I've had a long or bad day at the hospital. I've heard some good things about a place called Eclipse, maybe we'll try there tonight. I need a change of scenery anyway.

I walk in the door of the house I share with my brothers. As soon as they look at me I just shake and hang my head, the universal sign for "that didn't go well." To which they laugh at my expense. They did try to warn me.

"We tried to warn you man," Emmett tells me.

"Yeah, I know. Maybe someday I'll learn. Why is it that you guys pick up on these things that I just don't notice?" I ask.

Jasper still silently laughing at me and shaking his head.

"Why don't we do a guys night tonight and Jazz and I will try to help you with a list of things to look for and try to avoid or at least take as a warning," he offers.

"I was going to suggest a guys night myself. Dinner at Famous Dave's and then drinks at Eclipse?" The agree with a nod.

I head to my room to relax then shower and wash off another bad date. I hate dating, why is it so difficult to find a quality woman? Is it too much to ask for some one to love, a wife to hold tight at night and a couple kids to jump on our bed on Saturday mornings to wake us to make breakfast? One day I'll find her.

We get to Famous Dave's, get seated, order our dinner and the lesson begins. It doesn't escape me that we have the attention of quite a few ladies from many of the tables surrounding us. Usually it doesn't bother me, but when it's someone that is with a date or boyfriend or husband, or even worse the teenage girl out with her parents, I get very uncomfortable. Therefore, I try to ignore all the eyes and focus on Jasper and Emmett and their 'lesson in ladies' that they are trying to give me.

"Look man, I met her in a grocery store. It wasn't like the others that I've met at charity functions or one of Mom and Dad's high society balls or banquets. I thought she would be different." I try to explain.

Emmett just laughs, "we tried to warn you. We saw when you walked out of the store with her and exchanged numbers. We knew right away that it may have been your Cullen good looks that got her attention, but it was your Armani suit that kept it. Am I right Jasper?"

Jasper nods, "that girl was branded more than a herd of cattle. And it wasn't just that she was dressed in top notch designer from head to toe, but she made sure everyone knew it by having the brands all show. Head to toe Gucci with the exception only of her sunglasses and hand bag, which were Coach, by the way." He shakes his head. "I've heard enough girl talk from my last girlfriend to know that's what they call a brand-whore." He chuckles.

At that I had to laugh back, "you know, when I asked her where she went to school, her answer included what stores were close by. I don't think she even knows the name of the school where she got her degree. Although, I'm not a hundred percent sure that she received a degree. Unless they give degrees in shopping."

They both laugh when they see the frustration on my face. "Oh no, that's not even the best part. I packed a nice lunch for our picnic. I spread out the blanket, in the grass mind you, she comments about how soft the blanket and then looks disappointed when she asks if it's Ralph Lauren and I tell her no." I rub my face thinking back to the disaster. "And as I'm taking out the food she starts telling me why she can't eat the things I've packed. 'fried chicken is too fattening,'" I mimic her high pitched voice as best I can, "I even made it myself this morning, you would think she would understand the sentiment of having someone cook for her. I don't know what the girl eats, because she had a reason not to eat grapes, strawberries, sliced cucumbers, cherry tomatoes, apples or macaroni or potato salad." I said shaking my head, the guys just laughing.

"Man, she probably stuffed her face with twinkies before you picked her up just so she wouldn't 'look like a pig' when she ate in front of you today," Emmett says trying to hold back his laughter and still shaking his head. "Why do girls think we'll think bad of them if they eat an adult sized meal? Eating is like farting …. Everybody does it!"

At that I cough, almost choking on my pulled bbq chicken. Emmett sure does have a way of saying things with flavor. Jasper just nods and chuckles. "Such a shame not everyone can enjoy your graceful way of saying things, Em." he says between bites of his ribs that are smothered in sauce.

"Alright guys, lets finish up and head to Eclipse, I need some drinks," I let them know that I am in fact ready to relax and unwind and forget about today's disaster. I don't even think it could be considered a date. "I've had some bad dates before, but this one really topped the charts when it comes to the worst." I say shaking my head. "Maybe Mom can find me a nice girl," I say under my breath thinking they wouldn't hear me.

I was wrong, obviously as they start laughing and coughing "mama's boy" at me. To which I just roll my eyes and ignore their comments. I love my Mama, nothing shameful about that.

We pull up to Eclipse, parking Emmett's Hummer under a street light because he thinks it's safer there. What a goofball, if someone wants to mess with it, a street light isn't going to stop them. But that's his baby. I think that beast gets more baths then Emmett himself.

We walk in and head straight to the bar and get two beers a piece. It's packed in here and it may get difficult to get the bartenders attention when we're ready for our second round. I let the guys know that tonight is on me and have them start a tab. Just as they hand me my beers I hear the most angelic sound I've ever heard.

____

Oh and I don't know  
I don't know what he's after  
But he's so beautiful  
He's such a beautiful disaster  
And if I could hold on  
Through the tears and the laughter  
Lord, would it be beautiful?  
Or just a beautiful disaster

I start walking towards the stage, admiring the beauty on stage. I stop just to the side and don't bother hiding my admiration. She has her eyes closed but I can feel her pain thru her words. Someone that beautiful should never know that kind of pain. Just before she sings the chorus for the third and final time, a tear slides down her cheek which she wipes away, still not opening her eyes.

She finishes the song, slowly opens her eyes as if in acceptance of the pain she feels and replaces the microphone. As she looks up towards who I assume to be her friends, she doesn't see me on the other side of the room, but I see a depth to her eyes that I've never seen before. She looks so full of life and hope, but also pain. I want to take her pain away.

I watch her walk to a table and welcomed into the arms of a pretty blond. She turns to the table and her eyes go wide seeing a drink on the table. She doesn't hesitate, she drops the shot glass in the larger glass and drinks the entire thing at once. "Wow," I mutter to myself.

I continue watching, not able to yet move my feet. I notice her friends pointing out my brothers. They raise their glasses as the guys raise their beers and drink to each other from across the room. I shake my head and smile, I guess my brothers have found someone to occupy their time with this evening. I finally find my feet again and start walking back towards the guys. Not confident that I can make it the thirty feet to my brothers and look towards the girls at the same time, I keep my eyes on my brothers, who keep their eyes on the girls. Well, at least they won't get lost, I laugh to myself.

A group of girls took the stage doing an awful performance of Like A Virgin. They are giggling and falling all over each other, quite obvious that they started their evening of drinking early, or maybe they just can't handle their drinks. Which ever, it's really not attractive.

"Did you hear her?" I ask in awe.

"Dude, she was pretty good." Emmett says before taking a drink, still not taking his eyes off the girls.

"Pretty good? She has the voice of an angel." I state as if it's law. "But she looks so hurt," I say quietly as more of an observation to myself than to them. I notice that they have yet to blink, let alone look a way from the girls. I grin and nudge Emmett seeing my chance to get a rise out of him. "Did you see that blond hug her when she got back to the table? I bet their lesbians." I state trying to get more than an "uh-huh" from them. I most certainly do not think they are lesbians, but I'm waiting for both Emmett and Jasper's tongues to start hanging out of their mouths. Could they make it any more obvious? I start laughing as they turn and glare at me. "Sorry," I say raising my hands in surrender, "they most certainly are not laying carpet." I can't help but laugh at the fools.

Emmett looks at me, finally tearing his eyes off the ladies, and grins, "hey, that was a good one their Eddie."

I growl at him "don't call me Eddie, Emmie"

"Alright, alright I'll stop!"

Jazz finally turns to us "we need to take those girls home to Mom."

Huh, who's the mama's boy now?

"Jasper, we go out and come across, admittedly the most gorgeous women I've ever seen, and your first thoughts are about your Mom? That's gross." I say teasing Jasper while punching his shoulder.

I hear the djay announce "Bella and her Coven" and simultaneously Jasper and Emmett are both tapping me to get my attention back to the stage. The djay winks at the girls and I see the beautiful brunette from a few minutes ago with deep soulful eyes give the djay a dirty look and a short verbal exchange. That must be Bella.

I find it hard to look away from these beauties myself, although really only one in particular. The tall blond and the shortest pixie like brunette are nudging the others, nodding in our direction. Well, we must have their attention as well, good to know.

There seems to be a lot of annoying giggling and hair flipping going on next to us so we step a few steps away so that we can concentrate on the beauties on stage.

They are looking right at us, direct eye contact. The cymbols start out the song, and my Lord, all four of them grab a mic and start to shimmy and then they sing or should I say, they start their seduction.

________________

__

Are you gonna live your life wondering,  
Standing in the back,  
Looking around?

It's like they are singing directly to us. Almost as a challenge to still being in the back of the bar when they have let us know with their extended eye contact that they are interested. With a wink to each of us they continue.

____________________

__

Are you gonna waste your time thinking,  
How you've grown up,  
Or how you missed out?

Things are never gonna be the way you want.  
Where's it gonna get you acting serious?  
Things are never gonna be quite what you want,  
Or even at 25,  
You gotta start sometime.

Then all the sudden, they turn and start singing to each other, and dancing together. Shaking and shimmying, and just looking so damn sexy. And not once looking back at us. They finish out the song with grace and the girl I know as Bella stands out from the rest. Her voice rising above the others and filling my soul.

____________________________

____

I'm on my feet I'm on the floor I'm good to go.  
So come on Davey sing me something that I know.  
I wanna always feel like part of this,  
Was, Mine.  
I wanna fall in love tonight,  
Here tonight.  
I wanna fall in love tonight,  
Here tonight.  
I wanna always feel like part of this,  
Was, Mine.  
I wanna fall in love tonight.  
I wanna fall in love tonight.  
I wanna fall in love tonight....

I think I just fell in love tonight!

We clap and cheer for the ladies as they take in their praise from the crowd. They walk back to their table and flag down the waitress. Two of the ladies are back to staring down my brothers. The djay announces that he's going to play some dance music and the girls all jump in excitement. I'm pretty excited about watching them out on the dance floor myself.

Suddenly, Bella and one of the other ladies get up from the table and start walking towards us. For some reason I can't take my eyes off of her. The place is packed so they have to squeeze between people. Slowly they make their way towards us.

She places her hand upon my chest while saying "excuse me" and slipping by, all while looking me in the eyes and winking. I swear I felt an electrical current pass from her to me as she laid her hand on my chest, and there wasn't even any skin on skin contact. She lets her hand ever so slightly rub across my chest as she moves to get by and I feel an emptiness as she removes her hand from my body.

As she passes Jasper and Emmett she places her hand on their arms and continues to excuse her self to get by but they receive no wink. Her friend follows her lead and does the same, making sure to place a hand on each of our arms and gently squeezing. They continue on and it looks as they are going to the ladies room.

I look at the guys who are sporting extra large smiles right about now, I turn back toward the ladies table and take notice of the reason. Meanwhile, I'm still trying to catch my breath. The remaining ladies at the table are leaning together whispering to each other but still looking our way.

"Alright guys, are we just going to stand here all night or are we going to introduce ourselves to those incredible women? Looks like they have room at their table. And from the looks between you all, I'm pretty sure they will welcome us to join them." I ask the guys as they nods their heads in agreement. I start to walk towards the table only to spot the waitress for the table we are headed to. I stop her and let her know that anything ordered at that table tonight is to go on my tab. She nods in agreement while looking me up and down. "It's under the name Cullen," I tell her.

"Sure thing Mr. Cullen," she says while rubbing my arm "and if there's anything else I can help you with, you just let me know." Her voice laced with innuendo.

"That's all for now, thank you." I'm not one to point out that it's Dr. Cullen, I don't like throwing my education around like that. I'm proud of my accomplishments but I don't throw it in people's faces.

I notice that Jasper and Emmett continued on toward the table and introduced themselves and like I thought, were welcomed to the table. All they needed was a little push from their baby brother. I arrived at the table, the guys already having introduced themselves.

"And this here is our little brother, Eddie," says Emmett.

I glare at him then turn towards the women, offering my hand to shake. "It's Edward, and it's a pleasure. May I?" I motion towards the empty chair.

"Oh, please do," the blond says, "I'm Rosalie and this is my little sister Alice. Our sister Bella and friend Leah should be right back."

My brothers are openly staring at the girls looking like they are at a loss for words. I guess that leaves me to start a conversation. "So Rosalie and Alice, not to sound cliché, but do you ladies come here often?" I ask with a chuckle, knowing exactly how it sounds. Luckily for me the ladies laugh and find the humor in it.

Alice speaks up, still not taking her eyes off of Jasper, "it's been a few weeks but we actually come here all the time."

Hmm, good to know,

"Well," Alice the first to speak up, " I own a small clothing boutique in downtown Baltimore. I went to school and got a degree in business management and then spent two years studying fashion and decided to open my own place. I love the fact that I don't have to follow someone else's direction. I get to make all the decisions and when I'm not sure of something, I have my sisters to go to for help." She finishes with a grin while reaching over and sweeping a lock of hair out of Jasper's face.

Next Rosalie speaks up, "and I own a garage just outside the city. Owner and head mechanic actually. I don't do too well being bossed around by someone else, so opening my own place was the only logical option. I prefer high end vehicles, the faster the better, but I also help out single mothers who get referred to me thru a local organization that helps single mothers in need."

"And what about your sister and friend?" I ask, not wanting to leave anyone out and wanting the conversation to continue. Quite honestly, the four of them are making me a little uncomfortable with all the non blinking eye contact.

Rose answers, "our sister Bella is editor-in-chief of the Baltimore sun and Leah works at the organization that helps mothers in need. She's actually the reason I got involved. She's a single mother, but Bella's boyfriend, Jake, does all of her car maintenance. But her and I worked together to make sure other single mothers had access to reasonably priced automotive work. I make sure they don't pay a dime over cost, most of the time even less thanks to contributions from our local community."

And with that, my heart drops. She has a boyfriend. Okay, I can handle this. After the way my day has gone, it figures that she would have a boyfriend. I mean, why wouldn't she, she's drop dead gorgeous. I don't know how these two are single. Not that they have said that they are single and available, but they sure seem to make it look that way.

I look off toward the back of the bar and notice Bella and Leah making their way back to the table as the djay finally starts up the dance music. I think I hear Jasper whisper to Alice "would it be to forward of me to say that I think I'm in love with you and want to take you to meet my mother?" She giggles.

Mean while I hear Em, "you are a goddess, absolutely perfect, let's get married. You can meet Mom and Dad later, I know they'll love you too."

Rose replies, "let's give it a month, then we can get married. After I meet the parents and you meet mine," with a wink.

Well that's just great, both of my brothers seemed to have met the women of their dreams, instantly ready to settle into forever, while it looks like the woman of my desire is already taken. Figures.

Just as Bella and Leah approach the table, Rosalie and Alice turn to them. It looks like Bella has been crying but she has a smile on her face that doesn't quite reach her eyes. After what seems to be a silent exchange between the sisters, Bella shrugs, reaches for her glass taking a sip. The beat kicks in, her hips start moving, she tilts her head toward the dance floor while looking at Rosalie and Alice. Then she looks to me while slowly walking backwards toward the dance floor and pulling Leah with her. Still looking at me, she starts lip syncing the words to the song I'm a, I'm a, I'm a, I'm a flirt. Soon as I see you walk up in the club I'm a flirt. Then she turns away and continues dancing with Leah, and quite sexily at that. They must be close because they don't seem to have any problem rubbing up against each other. I'm quite enjoying the little show. Every once in a while Bella looks my way, or maybe she's just looking to see if the other two are going to join them on the dance floor any time soon. I'm sure that's it, she's not looking at me, not when she has a boyfriend at home.

Just before the next song starts Rosalie and Alice leave us to join the others on the dance floor. The four of them dance among themselves, together and individually. Always looking back to make sure we are still watching. This has got to be one of the sexiest things I have ever witnessed. Now, I know we have been given shows like this in the past, but never has it ever been such a turn on.

The next song starts, Shots, how ironic, and Jessica stops back by our table with a tray full of ice water. Setting the glasses down for the girls and a few extra for us, she checks on our drinks. "Are you still doing ok Mr. Cullen? Is there anything I can get for you?"

Now that the eyes aren't in such close proximity to the girls they have found the use of their mouths again. "Hey, Jessica is it?" looking at her name tag, Emmett grabs her attention, "he's Dr. Cullen," he looks at me when I growl. "What, you earned it! Anyway, I think we could all use another round and bring the ladies another of whatever they are drinking."

Jessica looks to me to make sure I'm agreeing to a round of drinks for all seven of us. I nod to let her know that it is in fact okay to bring another round to the table. She quickly turns to retrieve our drinks, just before the song ends and the ladies return to the table.

All of them look quite worked up and very thankful for the ice water sitting on the table. It's good to see that they came out to have a good time and not necessarily to get wasted. They each take a seat, Bella and Leah make it to their chairs while Alice lands in Jasper's lap and Rosalie in Emmett's. All grabbing their waters at the same time and drinking up. Each setting down their glasses as they finished and letting a moan of gratification slip thru their lips. I think I felt a twitch when Bella closed her eyes, moaned and licked her lips. Each looking quite satisfied. Wow, all from a glass of ice water.

When Bella opened her eyes Rosalie started the introductions, "Bella, Leah, this is Edward."

I immediately extend my hand towards them, first to Leah, "hi Leah, it's a pleasure." Then on to Bella, "hello Bella, there are no words," I say as I grasp her hand and look into her eyes, feeling the current surge once again, stronger this time now that there is no cloth barrier between us. Not wanting to break the connection of our hands, but not wanting to be the creepy guy since I know she has a boyfriend, I release her hand but maintain eye contact. "Please allow me to introduce my brothers," seeing my opportunity to seek a bit of revenge for Emmett's 'Eddie' comments from earlier, "these are the Tweedle Twins, Dee, also known as Jasper, and Dum, also known as Emmett."

"Oooh, Eddie boy's got jokes today," Emmett says, "you are on a roll like butter tonight aren't cha? Jazz, can I get some help here?" Emmett and I playfully glare at each other.

"No way, Em. I'm staying out of this one as much as possible. Besides, if given the option, I much rather be Tweedle Dee. This is between the two of you. Maybe one day you'll learn to stop calling him anything other than Edward." Jasper smiles and returns his attention back to Alice. That's the most he's said since we've gotten here. What is with these two tonight?

The djay announces this is the last song before they start the karaoke back up, and the beat of Carry Out start. The girls each start a bit of chair dancing and singing along. Emmett and Jasper look like they are getting a bit excited and try to hold the girl on their laps still with very little success.

Jessica returns with the round of drinks to which Bella looks at her questioningly. Jessica just nods in my direction to let her know that we ordered them. Bella smiles at me and raises her glass to me in thanks and takes a sip. Leah excuses herself to call and check on her son.

"So," Bella says looking at me while placing her elbow on the table and her chin in her hand, "did you say your brothers are twins?"


	3. Something Feels Different

SM owns everything.

I've decided to post the songs for the chapters here at the beginning for those of you that are like me and like to que up the iPod when there are songs in the story.

So for Chap 3 we have:

Carry Out by Timbaland  
The Tease by Evens Blue  
The Climb by Miley Cyrus  
According to You by Orianthi  
Two Is Better Than One by Boys Like Girls ft. Taylor Swift

* * *

____

______

"So," I ask Edward "did you say your brothers are twins?"

"I did. Jasper is seven minutes older than Emmett," he tells me.

"Wow, how wicked is that! Rose and I are twins too! I'm four minutes older," I say with a quick raise of my brow. I think it's law that the older twin always points out and brags about the time difference in age, while the younger twin rolls their eyes or completely ignores said comment. "Rosie and I are 28 and Alice is the baby at 26," I let him know. I see Alice roll her eyes at being called the baby.

"Jazz and Em are 31 and I'm the baby, at 28, until next month anyway," he says, looking over to Alice trying to convey to her that he knows how she feels about always being called the baby.

"So, your sister Rose said that you are the editor for the Baltimore Sun?" I nod. "How did you become editor at such a young age? Isn't that a bit uncommon?" he asks.

"It is. Just luck I guess. It's a stressful job, but I enjoy it. Most of the time anyway," I say with a bit of indifference in my voice thinking back to today's earlier problems at the office. "I got my degree in English Lit but minored in journalism. After being editor of the school paper my junior and senior years in high school and then again thru college, it just seemed the way to go. But what I really want to do is write children's books." Wow, did I just say that, I've never told anyone about my desire to write children's books. Way to go word-vomit, not even Jake knows that. I maintain a grin on my face as to not let on that I've let something slip.

I used to talk to Jake about everything, there was nothing he didn't know about me. Here lately it seems that there are more and more things that I'm not sharing with Jake. He's been my best friend my entire life, I used to tell him everything, up until it seemed like he stopped listening.

"That's quite impressive," he smiles at me and I see something spark in his eyes. Jessica returns yet again with another tray of ice water. She sets down the waters but doesn't take her eyes off of Edward. It looks like she is making him uncomfortable, surely he is used to this kind of attention, he's absolutely drop-dead gorgeous. I unsuccessfully fight the urge to laugh at his predicament. He asks her to have the djay put him on the list for a song, trying to end her stay at our table and I let her know I'm ready for another turn at the mic as well.

I wait for Jessica to walk away, "So, Rose filled you in on me, what is it you do Edward?" I ask while watching the smile return to his face as he turns to look back at me.

"I'm a doctor," he says shyly.

"A doctor?! Wow, what do you specialize in?"

"General Pediatric Surgery. I love being able to make a difference in children's lives. I almost went into obstetrics but after a rough night in the ER during my residency, a mini-patient changed my mind," he says with a smile and look of contentment on his face showing that he truly loves what he does.

"Sounds like we both have a soft spot for the little ones. Speaking of little ones," I say as I see Leah returning from checking on Sammy, "how's Sammy doing?" I ask Leah.

"Oh, he's doing just fine. I knew he would be but I miss the little guy so much even when I'm away for a few hours." You can see the look of love in her eyes as she speaks of her son. "Jake actually just took him back to my place and put him to bed. From the sounds of it, Jake was ready for bed too."

"I'm sure he kept Jake busy, he usually does," I say thinking to the times I've spent with Sammy and how tired I am after just a few hours.

With that, _Carry Out _ends and the djay calls Edward up for his turn. Jasper and Emmett turn to Edward looking a bit surprised to which he just shrugs his shoulders. I look at him curiously to which he informs me, "this is a bit out of my comfort zone." Then he turns and walks to the djay and toward the stage, grabbing the mic and looking a bit nervous.

The guitar chords begin and Edward closes his eyes briefly and then he begins with a look of determination on his face.

__

Hold your hands into the sky  
Pray for mercy, instead of time  
Big cities' action of my big city girl  
Think she builds her own heaven  
Cause she finds it's a lonesome world  
Filled with dirty street cars and dirty signs  
I hope there comes a time when  
I get to see your dirty mind

_And you're captivating , standing in front of me_

_Is the reason, Im still wondering why everyone we loved has broke away_

_Hold your hands into the sky_  
_Pray for mercy, instead of time_  
_You are the massacre, the masochist, the tease_  
_And you're captivating, standing in front of me_  
_Hold your hand into the sky_  
_Pray for mercy, instead of time_

As the song comes to a close the look in his eyes becomes even more intense like he's trying to convey something to me and I find it impossible to look away.

So be my massacre, be my masochist, be my tease  
Cause you captivate me when you stand in front of me

Our table erupts into cheers, applause and whoops and hollers for an encore. He waves off the encore invitation and takes his seat. I'm so caught up in the emotion of the look in his eyes while he sang that I'm frozen in my seat for a moment, unable to look away.

The djay calls my name to come up on stage, breaking the dreamland I was stuck in.

"Maybe later, huh?" I ask while getting up and walking toward the stage for my next turn at the mic.

"Yeah, maybe," I hear him say while I walk away.

Again I whisper my selection to the djay and take the stage while my table has now decided to start with the cat-calls until the song starts.

The piano notes ring out for _The Climb _by Miley Cyrus and again, I close my eyes to make my connection to the song.

_I can almost see it._  
_That dream I'm dreaming, but_  
_There's a voice inside my head saying_

_You'll never reach it_

As the song picks up I open my eyes and look towards my sisters and friends. I see a sense of understanding among the girls and a bit of awe from the guys. And a bit more from Edward, but I can't quite put my finger on what it is, but it allows a smile to cross my face.

_The struggles I'm facing_  
_The chances I'm taking_  
_Sometimes might knock me down, but_  
_No I'm not breaking_  
_I may not know it, but_  
_These are the moments that_  
_I'm gonna remember most_  
_I've just gotta keep goin', and_  
_I gotta be strong_  
_Just keep pushing on, but_

Just as the song slows down before picking back up for some intense vocals at the end, I find a spot in my heart that allows me to open up like never before. A new understanding floods me, and to be honest I don't remember much of the last minute or so of the song.

_There's always gonna be another mountain_  
_I'm always gonna wanna make it move_  
_Always gonna be an uphill battle_  
_Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose_  
_Ain't about how fast I get there_  
_Ain't about what's waitin' on the other side_  
_It's the climb_

_Keep on movin'_  
_Keep climbin'_  
_Keep faith baby_  
_It's all about, it's all about_  
_The climb_  
_Keep the faith, keep your faith, woah_

I close out the song and try not to blush at the cheers from the crowd. The last minute must have went well. Again they chant for an encore. I'm feeling good, so why not. I smile at the crowd with a nod and walk back over to the djay and let him know what I want. I grab my ice water then make my way back to center stage and let the crowd know I'm thankful for their appreciation and have decided to pick up the pace a bit. The djay nods that he has located the song of my choice and I think to myself that while this song may not literally be my situation, it's close enough.

It's time to let loose! I hear the two intro notes for _According To You _by Orianthi and decide to just let go. As soon as the I sing the first few bars I start dancing and really getting into it.

_According to you_  
_I'm stupid, I'm useless,_  
_I can't do anything right._  
_According to you_  
_I'm difficult, Hard to please,_  
_Forever changing my mind._  
_I'm a mess in a dress,_  
_Can't show up on time,_  
_Even if it would save my life._  
_According to you. According to you._

I look to the dance floor and see that my girls have all joined in the dancing and slowly the crowd is following. When the brief guitar solo rips about two thirds way thru I join the girls down on the dance floor taking the mic with me. Jumping around and dancing with my girls I feel loved.

_According to me_  
_You're stupid, You're useless,_  
_You can't do anything right._  
_But according to him_  
_I'm beautiful, Incredible,_  
_He can't get me out of his head._  
_According to him_  
_I'm funny, Irresistible,_  
_Everything he ever wanted._  
_Everything is opposite,_  
_I don't feel like stopping it,_  
_Baby tell me what I got to lose._  
_He's into me for everything I'm not,_  
_According to you._  
_According to you._

I get back on stage to end out the song.

_According to you_  
_I'm stupid, I'm useless,_  
_I can't do anything right._

I briefly lower my head with a deep breath and eyes closed. Everyone is screaming and applauding and I can't help but look around and blush. I replace the mic in the stand and take my place back at the table. I see a fresh drink on the table and gladly drink to sooth the dryness of my throat.

"You're quite talented," I hear from across the table. I look up and notice that Edward is looking at me again with that look that I just can't quite place.

"Aww, thanks," I shrug, "that's really nice of you. Really, I find it to be a great stress relief. And today it was much needed." I say then catch myself before I say too much.

"I know exactly what you mean."

"Well, I'll tell you what, before we leave tonight we can make your encore a duet," I offer wanting just one more song before calling it a night but also securing my chance to hear Edward sing again.

He accepts my offer and the seven of us all fall into easy conversation. We all take turns laughing at each others worst date experiences. I have nothing to offer since Jake and I have been together since high school and when we first got together we were too young to really date.

Edward just shakes his head and says, "after today, I'm hoping I don't have to date anymore." Emmett and Jasper start laughing hysterically, there must be an inside joke there somewhere that I'm not getting. He rubs his hands thru his hair. "It's too recent to be all that funny to me right now, but I'm sure someday I'll look back and see where I went wrong." And he leaves it at that.

I flag down Jessica and ask for a final round of water, deciding I've had enough to drink for tonight and let he know I'm ready to settle my tab.

"There's no tab to settle, Mr., sorry," she looks towards Edward, "Dr. Cullen here has taken care of everything." Grinning at him, waiting for his attention. When he doesn't turn her way, her face falls slightly and she turns and walks away.

"Why Dr. Cullen," I start, flirting just a bit and batting my eyes with a giggle, "it seems you are disappointing our waitress by not showing her a bit of attention. And you really didn't have to do that, pay for our tab, I mean."

"Really, I hadn't noticed. And after being allowed to experience your amazing talents, it's the least I could do."

"Well aren't we just full of compliments," I blush trying to accept the compliment without complaint.

I look over to my sisters and notice they each have a cell phone in their hands that doesn't belong to them. Both just a typing away on the phone in their hands. And then it dawns on me, this must be the time of the evening where they exchange numbers. I've never really been part of the dating scene so sometimes I'm a bit slow on the uptake when it comes to these things. I smile to myself thinking how happy I am that Rose and Alice have both met someone could be really good for them.

I turn back to Edward, "ready for that encore yet?" I ask.

He nods, "if you're with me, I'm ready for anything."

"Good, I know just the song," I say while looking in his glorious green eyes before raising from my chair and returning for the last time tonight to the stage. Edward follows behind me and takes the second microphone. I fill him in on the song I've selected and see a smile spread across his face, not that it ever really left to begin with.

The sound of guitar strings come to life thru the speakers and I notice  
Edward's fingers twitch on the hand that's not holding the mic.

Edward is has the first lines and I practically melt at the sound of his velvety voice as he begins.

_I remember what you wore on the first day_  
_You came into my life and I thought, hey_  
_You know this could be something_

_'Cause everything you do and words you say_  
_You know that it all takes my breath away_  
_And now I'm left with nothing_

I join in for the chorus and it doesn't go unnoticed how fantastic we sound together.

_So maybe it's true that I can't live without you_  
_And maybe two is better than one_  
_But there's so much time to figure out the best of my life_  
_And you thought that it got me coming undone_  
_And I'm thinking two is better than one_

_I remember every look upon your face_  
_The way you roll your eyes, the way you taste_  
_You make it hard for breathing_

_'Cause when I close my eyes and drift away_  
_I think of you and everything's okay_  
_I'm finally now believing_

We carry on to the end and as the song comes to an end I feel a weight being lifted from me. Something just feels right.

_And I'm thinking, ooh, I can't live without you_  
_'Cause baby, two is better than one_  
_There's so much time to figure out the best of my life_  
_But I figured out with all that's said and done_  
_Two is better than one, two is better than one_

I look down at my sisters and the whole table is looking at us with dropped jaws. What's that all about?

We replace our mics and make our way back to the table. Edward offers his hand to accompany me down the two steps for the stage and I feel his hand on the small of my back while we walk to the table. We get back to the table and he helps me with my chair. Where is this guy from? It's like he's from another time. But I smile at him and say thank you, everything feels so natural and not the least bit forced.

"What?" I ask my friends around the table, still not understanding the looks on their faces.

Suddenly they all straighten up where they sit, Rose and Alice still in the laps of the other two guys. "Oh, n-n-nothing" they stumble together, acting nervously and trying to straighten the empty glasses on the table.

Jessica returns with the tab for Edward and he slips her his credit card with out even looking at the total. Edward refuses to allow me to pay for any of the tab, so when she returns with his card and signature slip I wave her over to the other side of me away from Edward. I wave her down so I can whisper to her and slip her forty dollars telling her to add it to the tip for our bill. She nods while slipping the money in her pocket as to not let Edward see what I've done. She stands and sees that Edward is looking and trying to hand over the receipt slip and pen. She winks and turns to walk away.

"Well ladies," Jasper finally speaks up, "it looks like it's time to head out. May we walk you to your car?"

We all speak our approval and stand from the table. Again Edward's hand finds my lower back and we make our way to exit the bar and out to the parking lot. Edward asks Leah more about her son which makes her glow. Leah tells Edward about the joys of having her little boy all to herself and how Jake and I watch him so that she can work Saturdays to bring in extra money. Then she mentions that Emmett is the one that helped her have Paul's parental rights terminated when he was just a month old.

To that Emmett turns and looks at Leah with squinted eyes, "yeah, you do look a bit familiar. Did you have shorter hair then?" She nods. "Yeah, I remember now? Sorry, I was a bit distracted here by your friend." He turns towards Rose, his hands have yet to leave her waist since we got up from the table. He glides his lips across Rose's shoulders, leaving a soft kiss upon them before turning his head back to ask, "has he tried to have any further contact?"

"No," she tells him, "I never really thought he would try, was never much for responsibility, but I just wanted to cover all bases to easy my mind. Sammy will be four in July, which means I will be working Saturdays again here for a while until after his birthday. But I still fear that one day Paul will realize what he's missing and try to come back into our lives."

"Well," Emmett says, "if that ever happens you need to call me immediately. Where's your cell?" Leah hands over her phone and Emmett programs his number in. "If that bastard ever tries anything, you have my services at your beck and call." Leah looks like she is going to protest. "And don't ever worry about payment. You shouldn't have to deal with his type of scum. Ever. You shouldn't be punished for a previous error in judgment," he says with a wink.

"You are way too kind. I hope I never have to use this, but thank you all the same."

"Ooh, ya got any pictures of the little dude now? I'd love to see how big he's gotten." Emmett asks and it looks like Rose's heart melts just a smidge more hearing that Emmett is interested in children.

Leah taps some buttons on her phone and brings up some pictures of her Sammy to show Emmett but all the guys lean in to look. "You having a big party for the little guy?" Emmett asks Leah.

"No," she replies, "thanks to Jake" and I feel Edwards hand fall from the small of my back "he's become hooked on video games. I was thinking I would get him a handheld game system. I'm not sure which one because I know nothing about them other than they cost a good bit of money, and that's before you buy any games for them. But for a party, we usually just have his favorite dinner, which is what ever he picks that day, and cake and ice cream. Bella and Jake usually join us, but other than that he's never had a real birthday party."

We reach Rose's car and the guys all say good-night like gentlemen. I see Emmett point out a beast of a vehicle to Rose and it looks like her smile got even bigger. I roll my eyes, she's such a motor-head.

We all get in the car after saying goodbye and watch the guys walk over to Emmett's. As soon as we see their lights come on, Rose puts the car in gear and we head home.

Rose pulls up to our building and Leah and I get out. I bend back down in the window to tell my sisters that we should do lunch tomorrow to which they agree.

Leah and I walk to our apartment doors, conveniently right next to each other. I tell Leah good night and walk into my apartment. I slip off my shoes and walk to my bedroom, ready to call it a night and slip into bed. And that is exactly what I do.

* * *

A/N: Leave me some love. Let me know what you're liking or what you're not.


	4. Dreams and Visions

SM owns it.

Lots of music for this chapter, some may repeat in future chapters:

Comatose by Skillet  
B.Y.O.B. by System of a Down  
The Way of the Fist by Five Finger Death Punch  
I Will Not Bow by Breaking Benjamin  
Bullet and a Target by Citizen Cope  
Kryptonite by 3 Doors Down  
Deeper by Delirious?  
If You Could Only See (Acoustic) by Tonic  
Everything Changes (Live) by Staind  
Closer to You by Adelita's Way

* * *

I roll over in my bed and look at the clock, it's six thirty in the morning. I stretch a bit and decide to get up and go for a run. Being a doctor means long and strange hours, so the fact that I only got five hours of sleep doesn't phase me. I get out of bed, slip on my running shorts, wife beater and sneakers and make my way down stares. I grab a bottle of water and my iPod before heading out the door.

I step outside and breath in the crisp morning air, another beautiful day. The birds are singing and there is fresh dew on the grass. It's just too perfect, maybe this and last night are all just a dream. No, no way it was just a dream, if it was a dream she wouldn't have had a boyfriend

I take another deep breath then drink my water. I stretch out all the kinks and muscles making sure to take my time. I select my play list specifically selected and timed to my morning runs and start on my way for my morning run.

I start out slow with _Comatose _by Skillet. As the song is blasted into my ears I start to think back to last night and the brown-eyed angel with a voice from the heavens. She was amazing, absolutely mesmerizing. There was a depth to her eyes like I've never seen before. She was flirty but not too much to make her seem desperate, of course she has a boyfriend but even knowing that her flirting was sexy and not sleazy. She seemed very comfortable in her own skin, confident but her modesty shown thru with her blush when given a compliment.

And for once, I had a real conversation that didn't require me keeping it going. Not only did she give real, intelligent answers to my inquiries about her, but she also asked real questions about me and was genuinely interested in what I had to say.

The iPod changes over to _B.Y.O.B._ and I start to really push myself.

Now normally I make it a point not to flash around the fact that I have deep pockets on the first couple dates. But then again, last night wasn't really a date. It was guys night and we just happened to join some beautiful women while we were out. I didn't mind when I saw that the tab came to just around two hundred and fifty dollars. It was nice of Bella to offer to pay part of the tab, but completely unnecessary. I didn't let her know that I saw her slip that cash to the waitress when I was signing the slip. She's so refreshing, like a breath of fresh air. And with that thought I take an extra deep breath, which isn't that easy when your eight minutes into a hardcore run.

The song changes to _The Way of the Fist_ and I really push myself as I break into the last half of my run. What am I going to do? There's no way I'm going to be able to not think about her. She's breathtaking. But she is in a long term relationship, I wonder if that's where the sadness that was in her eyes last night came from. I feel a deep seeded need to get to know her more. I guess I'll have to settle for being just her friend. I'm not going to even attempt to try to get her away from her boyfriend, that's just not who I am.

I make my way back towards the house just as _I Will Not Bow_ begins, it seems I have pushed myself a bit harder this morning as I have my play list timed for my 3 mile run and have gotten home before the end of the song. Once I reach the house I start my cool down and stretch some more. I walk back in the house, looking around to see if Emmett and Jasper are up yet, then grabbing another bottle of water. Still no sign of the guys, I think I'll take a quick dip in the pool before I head up for my shower. The pool is still sort of chilly, but it is still May. But it sure is refreshing.

I head up to my room for a shower and get ready for the day. Dinner with Mom and Dad should be interesting tonight after the twins' declarations to the women last night.

While in the shower my thoughts still revolve around Bella, I just can't get her out of my head. What was with the electrical current that passed between us each time we touched? Did she feel it too? Why was it so addicting? The longer I was in the shower, the more I thought of her. And that caused another problem down around my waist. For a moment I just stared at it, no woman has ever had this effect on me. No woman has ever caused this type of involuntary reaction from my body before. What has she done to me?

I felt guilty pleasuring myself to thoughts of her and wanted to apologize even though, without me telling her, she would have no idea. And surprisingly, I didn't find it all that pleasurable. It was a release, but I knew there was no way it could ever compare.

After my shower I towel off and dress casually in jeans and a t-shirt. I brush my teeth and run my hands thru my hair, no point in trying to do anything else with this mop, it's just going to do what it wants anyway. I look around my room trying to decide what I'm going to do with my day until it's time to head over to our parents' house for dinner. I see my guitars propped up on their stands in the corner and suddenly feel inspired to play. I grab my favorite acoustic and head downstairs to the den, picking up my iPod again on the way. I make my way over to my favorite chair that's next to the large bay window that looks out to the five acre back yard.

I love my back yard, it's perfect for a family, the perimeter is lined with large pines that serve as a natural fence and provide plenty of privacy. Ever the optimistic that I am, that's why I bought it, with plans for the future. But right now it sure is empty. Sure, we have the big in-ground pool that is surrounded by a large, custom laid block patio with a built in grill that's great for entertaining. Not that me or my brothers do any real entertaining, but we could if we wanted to.

When the time comes, this home will be mine with my wife and children. I was the one that _had_ to have this house. Originally when we discussed getting a place for the three of us, we decided that it would be something small but big enough for just the three of us, and temporary.

The day the realtor brought me out here for the first time I absolutely fell in love with it and immediately started envisioning the sounds of joy and laughter filling the air while children ran from room to room, and smells coming from the kitchen as my wife and I cooked meals together. When I looked out to the back yard for the first time I could picture birthday parties by the pool and children climbing on a large playground that wasn't yet there. Back towards the corner of the yard I swear I saw a flash of a garden wedding under a gazebo. This house was a dream and there was no way I was going to pass it up.

I made a promise to myself that day. I was going to make sure that this dream and those visions someday become a reality.

Without speaking to my brothers first, I bought the house on the spot, well, as on the spot as you can when it comes to buying a house. And if they didn't like it then they could just find another place without me. We weren't going to live together because of money, we were going to live together because it could get quite lonely at times in the careers that we have chosen without having a significant other to share our lives with. So until we found someone special to share our lives, we will live together.

Obviously they didn't have a problem with it because they live here with me now. They both laughed the first time they saw the house, asking what I was going to do with such a large house when they moved out. I didn't tell them about the visions I had of the home, not wanting to spur any more of their jokes. I did, however, tell my mother all about them and she has been very supportive and understanding. None of us had any children yet, so I felt ridiculous asking my brothers to help me build a playground in the back yard just yet. I know they will help when the time comes, but for now I'll just wait so I can avoid the Michael Jackson jokes at my expense. But maybe I can start working on some of the other visions. I make a mental note to speak to Mom privately tonight when we go for dinner and see if she wants to help me work with a landscape artist and start working on the garden and gazebo I had envisioned.

One day, I commit to myself, pulling myself back to the here and now.

I strum my guitar and my thoughts automatically drift back to Bella and the magical way our voices melted together last night when we sang together. Before we went up on stage she had asked me if I was ready. And my reply was about more than just singing with her. By the way she looked at me, it looked like she understood.

I know that she has a boyfriend, and I certainly hope that he knows just how lucky he is and doesn't take a moment with her for granted. But I must have her in my life. I'll just have to be content with being her friend. For now. I think about the pain of having her in my life while not being able to call her mine, but it doesn't compare to the amount of pain if I didn't have her in my life at all.

But she is it for me, I can feel it in my bones. There is no one else. No one else that could make me feel as alive as I felt the moment I heard her voice. And when she had placed her hand upon my chest, it was like she jump started my heard and placed a tattoo on my soul. I will wait until forever if that is what it takes. She may not know it, but she has marked me as her's..... for eternity.

I hear Emmett and Jasper in the kitchen and snap out of my daydream. I look at the clock and see that it's almost eleven already. My pansy-assed lawyer brothers and their beauty sleep. They would never make it in my world. Sure they can argue their way out of just about anything, but if they don't get their required hours of sleep, they are useless. Man are they in for it when they finally have kids.

Bringing my attention back to my guitar, I strum a few more chords before I start flipping thru my iPod to see if I find anything that grabs my interest. Music has always come so naturally to me, no sheet music ever needed. I start a new play list to play along with for the songs I've not played before, wanting to add a few to my repertoire. I start with a couple that I play often when I do Open Mic Night at Breaking Dawn. I warm up with _Bullet and a Target_ then _Kryptonite_. At some point the guys had walked in the den, both on their phones. They enjoy listening and on occasion Jasper will grab a guitar and join me, but it looks like he's too wrapped up in his phone conversation for that right now. If any of these next few songs feel good I'll add them to the list of the ones I play at Breaking Dawn. I hit play and with one bud in my ear I begin the ones I've not played before.

After my first run thru I decide to add _Deeper_, _If You Could Only See_, _Everything Changes_, and _Closer to You_. The guys seemed to approve and agree. I edit my play list and play each one again, once with the accompaniment and once without. They feel good, will definitely need more practice before I play them on stage, but they feel good none the less.

When I play, whether it be the guitar or the piano, I don't pay attention to much else. I let the music fill me and take over. I think I heard Jasper say my name, but he knows I don't respond to anything less than an emergency while I'm playing, so he's most likely not talking to me. I finish up and look at my watch. We'll be leaving to head over to Mom and Dad's for dinner soon, there's nothing like a home cooked meal from Mom. I save the new songs under a new play list so that I can work on memorizing them, then pick up my guitar to take upstairs and put away. I go into my home office and print out the lyrics to the new songs just to make sure I'm getting the right. At quick glance I don't see anything that stands out. I tuck the sheets into my folder with the other song lyrics I have and walk back downstairs to let the guys know I'm ready.

I head into the garage to wait for the guys in my Volvo. When they step into the garage they both have guilty looks on their faces.

"Alright, what's going on?" I ask.

Emmett speaks up, but quietly, "we're going to take the Hummer. After dinner with Mom and Dad we are going to see the Rose and Ali, so we figured we would just take a separate vehicle."

"Ok," I tell them, not really understanding why they look so guilty, "that's certainly understandable. You don't need to look so guilty for wanting to spend time with the ladies."

"But," Jasper says, then shakes his head and decides to drop it, "never mind."

"Guys, it's fine. I'll see you there." And with that we make the short trip to Mom and Dad's separately for the first time since moving into this house over a year ago.

Mom is waiting on the front porch pretending to water her plants when I pull up. I see her confusion when she sees that we didn't ride together and I am alone in my car. I arrived first because, not to brag but, I drive like a Cullen. I walk up on the porch and greet Mom with a hug and a kiss on the cheek. "Hey Mom, Jazz and Em should be here any minute. They will be leaving shortly after dinner to go spend some time with their new lady friends that we met last night. I promise to tell you anything I can that they don't after they leave, but you know Em, he doesn't keep much to his self so there probably won't be much to tell. Not about them anyway. But I do need to talk to you later about something." Just then, they pull up in the Hummer and I turn with Mom to greet the guys.

I think I heard Emmett call me a "speed demon" and Jasper mumble a "lead foot" but I just grin. I know my car and how to handle it.

I walk into the kitchen with Mom while my brothers go looking for Dad in the den. I help get the rest of dinner ready and on the table then go tell everyone that dinner is ready. The first few minutes at the table are pretty quiet while we fix our plates. Dad and I practically work together at the hospital, but we try to refrain from talking 'shop' on Sundays during dinner.

The guys work their way into talking about last night, well, Emmett does anyway. Emmett does most of the talking, Jasper is a little more quiet and reserved, but who can get a word in with Emmett around.

"Ma, I met my wife last night, she's great, your going to love her. I tried to get her to marry me last night, but she said to give it a month and that we had to meet each other's families first. But Mom, she's wonderful."

"And you know this after knowing her just a few hours?" Mom asks Emmett skeptically, to which I stifle a laugh.

"It's not just me, Ma. Jazz too!" It's harder to hold back the laugh now, but I'm doing well not choking on the delicious pot roast. "And even Edweirdo over there, he just doesn't know it yet, or is in denial or something like that."

"Whoa, hold on just a minute." I clear my throat, sip my sweet tea and clear things up, "I will admit that Bella was a pleasure to talk to last night and is the first girl I've met in a long time that has been able to hold a decent conversation for longer than 2 minutes. But I'm not the one that declared my love and intentions as my first words after introducing myself. And besides, she has a boyfriend. I can be her friend, but I'm not interfering."

"Whatever," Emmett says rolling his eyes. Jasper still has not said a thing about it.

"So what can you tell me about them?" Mom asks looking to Jasper, hoping to get him to speak up.

Jasper looks up with a mouth full of food and the dear in the headlights look on his face when he realizes she was asking him.

"Well, Alice is an entrepreneur, she owns a small clothing boutique in downtown Baltimore, she has a degree in business management and studied fashion for two years before deciding to open her own place. She lives with her sister, Rosalie, but all three of them are really close. She has a kind soul and a giving heart." Jasper shrugs his shoulders and puts another bite of potatoes in his mouth very matter of factly, not once breaking eye contact with Mom.

"And what about you Em?"

"Rose is the best! She also owns her own business," he says with a huge grin on his face. "Get this," he closes his eyes, just brimming with excitement of what he's about to say, "she owns and is head mechanic of _R.S. Motorworks_. She also works with a local organization that helps single mothers in need that need work done to their vehicles. She often does work for less than cost when she can for these single mothers thanks to donations from the community, which I think I'll make a donation to. Even though she lives with her sister, she is very independent and strong willed and has a big heart. Oh, and she's a twin."

"You're welcome guys," I say with a very confused look from my mother and father.

"These two fools wouldn't know half of that if it weren't for me. They got to the table, introduced themselves and then just stared at them. After I got the conversation going, while these bozos just continued to stare, they finally spoke up, only to declare their love for the fine ladies."

"Now, now Eddie-boy, you were just as smitten if not more, from the moment you heard Bella sing."

"I'll admit, I was quite captivated by her angelic voice. But I didn't start confessing my love for her, telling her I wanted to bring her home to Mama and run off and get married." I countered Emmett.

"Oh no. No, no, no. Where's my phone?" He pulls out his phone and starts his search. "He's in deeper than us, Ma. Don't let him deny it. He may not have said the words, but after you see this you'll see there were no words that could have said it better." My body tenses up slightly, wondering if Emmett had heard me last night say just that, _there are no words_.

"Emmett, what are you talking about?" I ask, then look at Jasper who looks just as smug.

"Here Ma, look at this" and Emmett hands his phone over to our mother.

"Oh my," she gasps and covers her mouth.

I can here the song Bella and I sung together last night. "What….? What is that?"

"That, my dear brother, is proof." Emmett looks so proud of himself.

"I don't remember you taking video of us last night," I must admit, I'm a little shocked.

My mother briefly looks at me with a big grin on her face. "No dear, it doesn't look like you would remember or noticed anything else going on around you. I will say, I'm a bit surprised you got up there without your guitar."

"Yeah, well, I," what is wrong with me, I can't even form a coherent thought while that song is still playing.

The video comes to an end, she hands the phone back to Emmett, reaches across the table to grab my hand and the only thing she can think to say is "wow."

"Let me see that, better yet send it to me, I need that on my phone. And why is everyone looking at me like that? Can we just finish our dinner please?"

"It's okay sweetie. Yes, lets finish eating. I'm sure you boys are anxious to get out of here."

Both Emmett and Jasper don't hold back and agree that they are in fact ready to go see Alice and Rose.

"Next Sunday you two should bring Alice and Rose to dinner. If you think it's really that serious, there's no reason to delay the inevitable."

"Sure thing Mama" Jasper pipes in, "I'll make sure to let Alice know so she doesn't make any plans for next weekend."

"Well Ma, dinner was delish as always. Do you have an evening free this week to do some shopping with me? There's something I need some help with?

"Emmett, if this shopping is for what I think it's for, let's hold off until I've met the girl first, okay? I'm not saying I don't trust your judgement, but I can better help you once I've gotten to know her a little bit."

"Okay Ma, so the next week then?"

"Yes Emmett, we will figure out an evening to go shopping?"

"Mama?"

"Yes Jasper, for you too?" I see Mom roll her eyes. "I've never seen two young men so rushed to get a ring on a girls finger."

Dad finally speaks up, "you know Esme, I was the same way, but it took forever for me to find the perfect ring."

"Carlisle, you asked after only 3 months, it couldn't have taken you that long."

"Actually, my darling, it took me two months, three weeks and five days to find the perfect ring."

"Aww, sweetheart, you never told me that." By now Mom is up out of her seat and walking towards Dad. Dad slides back from the table making room for Mom in his lap. She starts peppering his face with kisses and my brothers and I all groan in protest. At this moment I'm a little jealous that they have somewhere to go while I'm staying for a bit to talk to Mom.

Emmett and Jasper stand from the table and excuse themselves after thanking her for dinner and make their way out. I stand and start to clear the table so that I don't have to witness their over expression of love. Don't get me wrong, it's great that they are still so in love and can express it openly to each other, but no one wants to watch their parents make out like teenagers. I hope they can rein it in when the girls come by, but I'm sure that's too much to ask.

I get the table cleared and leftovers put away with some set aside to take home. I walk back in the dinning room to wipe the table down and see that my parents have finally separated their lips from each other. Dad gets up and goes back into the den.

"Thanks for cleaning up, you didn't have to do that."

"Oh, it's no problem Mom. Besides, you were a little busy."

"Come on Baby Boy, let's go in by the piano and we'll talk," she winks at me. "I want to hear all about this Bella, without your brothers around." She puts her arm around my waist and we walk to the other side of the house.

Just then my phone chimes with a new message and when I check it I see that Emmett has forwarded the video from last night to me. I download it and watch it all the way thru.

"She must really be something. I don't think I've ever seen someone look at another person the way you are looking at her in the video."

"She is. She's unlike anyone I've ever met. She was singing when we walked in the bar. And the moment I heard her voice it was like everything else disappeared. Her voice called to me. She didn't even see me at first, she had her eyes closed. And when the song was over and she opened her eyes, I…I…I, I just, Mom, I don't even know, there were no words. Her eyes held something in them that I've never seen before, an impossible depth that I wanted to dive into." There was no way I was keeping any of this in, I needed to tell someone.

"And then, her and her friend walked past us to go to the ladies' room or somewhere in the back and when she walked by and she put her hand on my chest, it was like my heart exploded and there was this electrical current between us. I kept testing that spark, when we walked up on stage and when we left for the night, and it was there. It wasn't my imagination, it was real. It was real Mom."

"Did she feel it too?"

"I have no idea." I start running my hands back and forth on my thighs then thru my hair. "But she has a boyfriend, and from what I got last night, I think they have been together for a really long time. But there was this sadness in her eyes, not all the time, but it was there and it makes me wonder if maybe she's not happy with him. Maybe that's just me hoping, but she never spoke ill of him, but she never really said much about him at all."

"So what are you going to do?"

"I'm not sure. I'm not going to pursue her and try to damage her relationship."

"No, of course, you would never do that."

"I know it will be painful to be around her and not be able to make her mine. But when I think of not being able to have her in my life at all, that's so much worse."

"Is this what you wanted to talk to me about?"

"Well, yes and no. I knew we would talk about this, I certainly can't talk to the Tweedle Twins about this. But I actually have a favor to ask of you."

"Tweedle Twins? Really Edward?"

"Yeah, ya like that? I came up with that one last night after Emmett kept calling me Eddie. But anyway, Mom, remember when I bought the house last year and I told you about the visions I had the first time I saw it?" She nods. "Well, I want to start working on making some of that a reality. And I think I want to start on the garden and gazebo in the back yard. Do you think you could help me work with a landscape artist to make this happen?"

"Edward, of course. I would love to help you with that, thank you for asking me. But I'm going to need some payment, what do you say you play a bit for your mother?"

"Of course, you know all you have to do is ask Mom. Anything in particular that you would like to hear?"

"No, just whatever moves you."

She sat next to me on the piano bench while I played. "You really got up on stage without your guitar or piano?"

"Yeah, I know. I feel so naked on stage without an instrument, singing has never been my strong talent. But that was the only way I could get the waitress to leave us alone, to have her put me on the list." I laugh thinking back to the amusement on Bella's face. "And then when she offered to do a duet with me, I couldn't pass it up."

"So I've seen. Just hang in there. If what I saw on that video is any indication of the possibilities between the two of you, it will happen, just be patient."

"Thanks Mom. I don't know how I'm going to do it. But I'm going to try."

I grab my leftovers from the kitchen, give Mom another hug and kiss on the cheek and head home.

The guys aren't home when I get there. I didn't really expect them to be. But I know they won't be out too late, they both have work in the morning. I walk thru the house and decide to just head up for bed. The last thing I remember before falling asleep is watching the video of myself and Bella.

Yep, I definitely fell in love last night. She's beautiful, incredible, perfect.

* * *

A/N: Leave me some love. I'm greatful for any feedback.

I didn't get as much writing does this week as I had planned, so I don't know if I'll be on time next week with a Sunday update. Trying to stay a chapter ahead of posting is hard when you want to read other great stories too.


	5. A Silent Partner

As always, SM owns it and I like to play with it.

Music for this chapter:

Hell Breaks Loose by Eminem  
Stay Wide Awake by Eminem  
Smack That by Akon ft. Eminem  
Dirty Little Thing by Adelita's Way  
Shakin' Hands by Nickelback  
Satisfaction by The Rolling Stones

* * *

The light breaks thru a crack in the curtains waking me for one of the most peaceful nights of sleep I have had in a long time. It must have been just the right amount of drinks last night. I roll around for a few minutes, stretching and going over the very few things on my to-do list for today. Lunch with the girls, phone call to the parents, a little bit of cleaning around the apartment and dinner next door. I roll over to look at the clock and see that it's only 9:30, still got plenty of time to get ready before heading out to meet the girls. I climb out of bed and notice that when I came home I just peeled off my clothes and hit the sack, normally I would have at least put on a beater, but it looks like I slumbered in just my skivvies.

I grab a top and throw it on before walking out to the kitchen to cure my cotton mouth. Looks like Jake didn't get any further than the sofa last night, that must be why I slept so well. He sure can hog a bed. I mean, I know he is by no means petite, but is it really necessary for him to take up two-thirds of the bed and take over my pillow? Funny thing is, he looks so cute, like a little kids when he's asleep. Where's my camera? I need a picture of this to show him, he doesn't believe me when I tell him, so I'll show him.

I find my camera and snap a picture and then giggle like I'm getting away with something. I have an over-whelming urge to go get the whipped cream out of the fridge and put it in his hand then tickle his nose. But it seems as though Jake doesn't find those things very funny any more. Actually, he doesn't find much funny any more. We used to spend all day laughing at or with each other, but not now. Sure, everyone has to grow up, but everyone still needs to embrace their inner child as well. Laughing is just one of those things everyone needs to do everyday, a couple times a day at least. It's one of my personal mottos actually, 'Laugh till you piss your pants, or at least have tears running down your face.'

I put my camera down on the counter and my empty glass in the sink before heading back to take a shower and get ready for lunch with my sisters. I select my Eminem play list and place my iPod on the dock in the bathroom, because what's a shower without music…….boring, that's what it is. And there's nothing like tongue-in-cheek rap to get the blood pumpin'. I consider myself a devoted fan, so there's no question that I can rap right along with each and every song.

I reach in the shower to turn the water on before I even strip down, because let's face it, no one likes to be shocked with first, inevitably cold, drops of water out of the shower head. So I strip down and start singing along with _Hell Breaks Loose _and step into the steamy hot shower. I stand under the water for a moment just letting it seep in from head to toe. I know my skin will be pink when I get out because the water is so hot, but damn it feels good. I wash my hair -lather, rinse, repeat with my honeysuckle shampoo. As I squeeze my favorite sweet pea body wash on my shower poof one of my favorites comes on, _Stay Wide Awake_. I can't help but sing along, every last word. Now I'm not saying the lyrics are family friendly, and there are a lot of words or phrases in his songs that normally I wouldn't even think of saying, but when he sings the words just flow out of my mouth. As much as Jake hates rap music, he thinks it's funny to listen to me sing along, well, he used to. Ultimate white girl right here, but it's so much fun. And better than singing along in the shower by myself is blasting it in my car and singing along in traffic. _"…Come with me to another side of the world so cold and so dark……"_ I take my time while I lather my body up and rinse and enjoy the hot water for just another moment. _"…..Now I use power tools how bout now why you in the shower, Scower you for 6 hours till I'll teach you power outlets…." _It's been so long since I've had hands on my body, touching me in a way that ignites a spark. Jake and I haven't had sex in what seems like forever, and the only thing I can remember from the last time that we did is how much more I needed. I've tried to tell him that I need him to be a little more assertive, but that hasn't done any good. I've had a hard time expressing to him what I need, I've even tried during our intimate times together, but that just got me weird looks. Guess he's not one for dirty talk. We were so young when we got together, he can't expect that we knew what we wanted or liked when we first started having sex, or that our wants and needs wouldn't change. It seems as Jake had his libido peak when we first started, where as I feel like I'm just coming up on mine. And given our current situation, it's very frustrating and I'm finding it quite unfulfilling. Jake would have a fit if he ever discovered that my favorite shower poof also vibrates. I can't get the man to talk dirty to me, he would flip if he found out there are sex toys in the house.

I flip off the shower poof, still feeling a bit unfulfilled and hang it on the hook. I get out and towel off just as _Smack That_ comes on and am thankful I'm out of the shower because I can't help but shake my ass to this song. And that is not something I want to do in the shower, not again anyway, been there, done that and had a bruise for 3 weeks to prove it. I learned my lesson. It does not matter what you place on the bottom of a tub, that sucker is still slippery when wet and under no circumstance does it make for a good dance floor. Thanks to a dance class and a kick-boxing class that I took my freshman year of college I'm not as clumsy as I used to be. My fear of the freshman fifteen turned out to be quite beneficial, I improved my balance, lost my clumsiness, learned some pretty good dance moves and can now defend myself pretty well. As for the intended purpose, I ended up gaining twenty pounds but it was all muscle and to be quite honest, I needed it.

I dressed casually in my favorite Sunday clothes, jean Capri's and a t-shirt, pulled my hair up into a messy ponytail then brushed my teeth. When I walk out into the living room to hunt down my favorite sandals I see Jake sitting up on the sofa looking quite grumpy.

"Morning Sleepyhead."

"Yeah, yeah. Whatever."

"Geesh, someone woke up on the wrong side of the … sofa," I chuckle but I think he growled at me. "Jacob Daniel, don't you dare take this out on me. There was nothing stopping you from coming to bed last night. You chose to sleep on the sofa instead of walking the extra twenty feet to the bed room."

I walk into the kitchen to fix a pot of coffee and pour two cups, taking them out to the living room and handing one to Jake, still sitting on the sofa.

"Sorry Bells. Thank you." He takes the mug, inhaling the aroma before he takes a drink. "You know how much I detest that stupid white-boy-rap-crap, and to be woken up by it is even worse." He leans his head back against the back of the sofa with his eyes closed and his feet propped up on the coffee table, still trying to wake up.

"Alright," I drink the last few drops of my coffee and slip on my shoes then take my mug and place it in the sink. "I'm going to lunch with the girls. I think we are going to the Inner Harbor. Rose said something about going to Hard Rock. Then I'll probably hit up the Barnes & Noble before I head home. You want me to bring you back anything?"

"Nah, thanks anyway. Leah invited us over for dinner tonight, will you be back in time?"

"Oh yeah, of course. You sure you don't need anything while I'm out?"

"I'm good. I'm just going to try to relax before the chaos starts all over again tomorrow morning."

"Ok." I grab my purse and walk up to the back of the sofa, lean over and place a kiss on Jake's temple. "Call me if something changes…. and don't let your hind quarters fuse to the sofa, make sure you get up every once in a while and circulate the blood." I laugh as I walk out, hearing a _thump_ as I close the door, sounds like he threw a pillow at me. It really does feel like we are slipping back into friends instead of lovers.

I get in my car and pick my 'Dirty Driving' play list, only thing better is real dirty dancing, I think to myself. But since I can't have one, I'll settle for the other, for now. With the windows rolled down of my Stratus, I start on my way to the Inner Harbor, jamming to _Dirty Little Thing_. I remember when I bought this car. It was my first brand new car. When we decided on the four door sedan we figured it would be a car we would have for a while and would be big enough for us to start a family in a few years when we were ready. Now, 8 years later, and no where close to where we thought we would be. I even venture to say we were at the polar opposite of where we thought we would be.

While I sing out loud waiting for the strange looks from other drivers, I think about how much I wish I could relate to this song. If only….grinding teeth, up against the wall, can't say no…..I need that passion. I long for that passion. I've never fully expressed the extent of my desires and fantasies to Jake. Any time I've tried to ease into the conversation I just get funny looks and I stop. _"Tie me up and take control," _I sing out loud. I can't believe I'm jealous of a frickin song, this sucks. I haven't even told my sisters about this. But maybe they'll be able to help or give me some insight as to what I can do. The song rolls over to _Shakin' Hands_, and all I can think is 'I want to be a naughty wicked witch of the east.' Then I pout for a while, feeling sorry for myself because I should be at least getting _some_, it's not like I'm single like my sisters. I bet even they get it more often then I do. I know relationships based on sex aren't healthy, and ours never has been. But this is ridiculous.

Twenty-five minutes later I'm parking my car just as my personal theme song is about to play, but I turn off the car anyway. It will be ready for me when it's time to head home. But I really can't wait until next year when I can play it in my dream car. I've never lusted after a car, not until now anyway. As soon as they are taking orders for the 2011 model that I'm wanting, I'll be in the dealership placing my order. With another deep sigh, I walk toward the restaurant.

I see Rose and Alice sitting outside at a table, waving me over. Looks like they have already ordered our favorite starts and drinks, Grilled Chicken Quesadillas and Potato Skins and margaritas. I look at my watch, I'm not late, why do the girls have funny looks on their faces?

I take my seat while eying them both, let them know that I know something's up. "Rose. Alice."

"Hi, Bella." The both say together, very sweetly at that. _Okay, this ought to be good_ I think to myself.

I decide to see if the twin-bond will help me out today and stare Rosalie down. Nothing. Crap.

With an exasperated sigh I almost yell at them, "JUST SPIT IT OUT ALREADY!"

"Geeze, Bella. How are you today?" Alice rolls her eyes at me.

"Ok," Rose speaks up while grabbing my hand across the table. "Last night I let it go. I wasn't going to talk about it in front of Leah since it looked like you didn't want to. But now it's just the three of us. What's going on?"

I close my eyes and try to talk myself into having this conversation. Alice is the hyper one, Rose is the serious but blunt one and I'm the silly one. This is going to be difficult. As much as most stuff doesn't embarrass me, the conversation I'm about it have would be much more comfortable for me to have with strangers. It's very hard to let people know _streets_-Bella and _sheets_-Bella. Ok, I just need to suck it up and let it out.

"Ok, but before I start I want you both to know that this is very difficult for me to talk about. And I'm sure one day, in the very distant future, I will be able to laugh about this whole situation," I look from Rose to Alice with a very serious look on my face to let them know I'm not joking around, not this time. "But today is not that day."

"Message sent and received. Right Alice?"

"Right Rose."

"Ok, Bella. Both Alice and I have agreed that we will not make fun of you. So, what's wrong in Bellaville?"

Another deep breath, I close me eyes, here goes nothing. "I'm backed up and frustrated." I spit out.

I finally look up to see both of my sisters looking at me very quizzically. Rose is the first to speak up, as usual, "is that all? I don't understand. Bella, if you're constipated we can stop off at the pharmacy and get you something. I don't know why you would be embarrassed to buy laxatives or stool softeners for yourself, but whatever. I'll go buy them for you."

I look over at Alice who is just nodding in agreement, looking just as confused.

"No Rose!" Now I'm frustrated for another reason. "You should both know better that _that_ is not the type of thing that would embarrass me. If anything, that would be one of those things that I would have fun with like I do when I go buy condoms." There they go looking at me funny again. "Come on, don't tell me you've never gone into the store to buy condoms and bought something to go with it just to see the look on the person's face that's behind the counter? You know, like condoms, duct tape and whipped cream?"

They are both shaking their heads at me, faces beet-red, looking like they are going to bust any minute.

"Ok, Ok. Let me try this again." Another deep breath. "It's been over 6 weeks since Jake and I …. ya know."

And now neither of them are speaking, just staring at me with their mouths wide open. "Can one of you say something instead of just staring at me?" I'm sure I'm the one that is ten deep shades of red by now.

"Um, I'm sorry, it's just …." then nothing. Great, Rose is speechless for the first time in her life. And Alice has now graciously place both hands over her mouth.

"Did you say 6 _weeks_?" Alice finally contributes to the conversation, but still has her hands over her mouth. I nod my head to let them know they did in fact hear correctly. "I knew it! What did I say last night? Your sex life will tell you about your relationship, even stuff you really don't want to know."

"Bella, sweetie, she's right. Six weeks?" She asks again to confirm. "What have you been doing? I mean, we don't usually talk about this, you and I, so I don't know if your libido is anything like mine, but I would go nuts in your place. No offense. But, I wish I was in a long term relationship right now. The closer we get to 30, the worse I get. Ever since what's-his-face and I broke up, I go thru batteries like crazy."

Alice looks over at Rose, "so you really liked that last one you bought then, huh?"

"It's amazing Alice! We should go back and get one for you. Or better yet, I'll get it for your birthday." Then she turns to me, "and it looks like we need to get one for you too."

"Not to interrupt you guys, but what are you talking about?"

"Sorry, Alice and I found this little shop one day when we were shopping and bought a few things for ourselves. Looks like we need to take you shopping for your very own vibrator."

"Rose, I already have one of those. Or three, but…" and now they are back to staring with their mouths open again. "What is wrong with you two?"

Alice lays her hand on top of Rose's, "I got this one." Then she turns back to me. "Bella, you have never been one to be very open and talk about sex with us, so I guess we are both just a bit surprised that you would be open enough to buy sex toys."

"Ok, yes, I'll give you that. I don't talk openly about sex and would most definitely prefer to talk to someone I didn't know about this, than the people I see almost every day. But I'm about at my breaking point. Jake doesn't even know the extent of it."

"Well there's part of your problem." Rose states like it's the most obvious of answers.

"Yeah, well, that's where it gets … a bit more … frustrating."

"What do you mean?" asks Rose. "Don't you talk to Jake about this?"

"I think me trying to talk to him has made it worse. What I need and want from our intimate relationship isn't the same as it was ten years ago. And let's say he just really isn't open to suggestion. That makes it hard to talk to him about what I want."

"We're still going to need more than that if we are going to help," Alice informs.

"About a year ago when I started feeling like I needed…more, I tried talking to him. And I learned he doesn't really seem to like dirty talk." This isn't as bad as I thought it was going to be, now I'm giggling, maybe it's the margarita.

Rose starts laughing too, "I think we are going to need another round of drinks." She waives the waiter over and orders another round.

As soon as the waiter leaves to get our drinks Rose starts with more questions. "What exactly did you say to him?"

Looking around seeing close by tables with families seated at them I decide that this is not the place for that. "Rose, this has been a lot easier to talk to you two about then I thought it would be, but there are children close by and that is just not something they need to hear. The next time we go out, I promise, we can continue that part of this conversation, but not today, not right now."

Rose looks around, confirming my observations. "Fine, but I will remember and we will discuss this again. In the mean time, neither Alice or I can tell you what to do about Jake. We both love you…and we love Jake like a brother…that's not going to change. But if you don't have the same feelings for him that you once had, then it's not fair to either of you to stay together. You both deserve the chance to find someone you can be happy, and satisfied, with," she says with a wiggle of her brow.

"I know. But we have been together for so long, I don't know anything else. I don't want to lose him as a friend, but truly, that's all it feels like anymore, that we are just friends. Just going thru the motions and pretending isn't really working. And since he didn't really like a small dose, I doubt he could handle the full description of what I need from him in that area. I'm so stuck in my head. I just don't how to talk about this stuff."

"It will all work out just the way it's supposed to, you'll see," says Alice, always looking at the positive. She looks over to Rose as if to get permission for another topic of conversation, but I beat her to it.

"So how about those guys last night?" And suddenly both of their faces light up. I can't help but laugh, "do I need to call Mom and Dad and warn them that you two may be running away to get married? Because I'm pretty sure you were both semi-proposed to last night, and I didn't hear any negative responses."

"Yeah," Alice says dreamily, "they were pretty great, weren't they? I'm excited to get to see Jazz again later."

"Is that so?" I ask, see that both of my sisters are now lost in space.

"Mmhmm, Jazz and Emmett are coming over to our place after they have dinner with their parents. Rose and I promised them dessert." Now Alice is wagging her eyebrows.

"You two are incorrigible. I guess we should wrap this up then so you guys can go destroy your kitchen trying to make dessert. Do either of you even know what the stove is?" If it weren't for coming over to my place a couple times a week, I don't know how these two would survive on take out and boxed dinners alone.

"Very funny twin! We couldn't both get the gourmet chef gene, ya know. Actually we are going to the store when we leave here. We are going to try to make a cheesecake, but we are also buying a frozen one just incase we screw it up."

I can't help but laugh imagining the two of them in the kitchen. Cheesecake is one of my favorite desserts and there is so much you can do to it, but there is no way they can pull this off. I just wish I was going to be there to watch. "It's still early," I say more to myself. "I was going to run in to the book store when we are done here. How about I run into the book store while you two go to the grocery store and I'll meet you two at your place and help. They seemed like pretty nice guys and no one should be subjected to frozen cheesecake…not if you want to keep them around anyway."

"You'd really do that for us?" Alice asks.

"Of course! Even if I'm not getting any, I can at least help you two get some. Here," I take out a piece of paper and write down the ingredients they need to get, "make sure you pick up everything on this list and I'll meet you at your place in an hour."

After lunch I walk to the bookstore and browse the 'relationship' section and pick up a few books that I'll most likely have to hide. Then I drive to Alice and Rose's house almost in a daze thinking about my frustrations, not even turning on any music I'm in such a daze. What am I going to do? I love Jake so much but there is no way that I can be happy if we can't communicate and at least compromise. I need more. I can't be a silent partner anymore. I giggle at the thought. I'm so tired of being silent.

I pull in the girls' driveway just as they are walking in, so I follow. In the kitchen they lay everything on the countertop.

"Ok ladies, here's the deal, I will make a chocolate mousse swirl cheesecake with a chocolate crust, and under my direction you will make a strawberry swirl cheesecake with a graham cracker crust. And…" I stop them before they can interrupt, "we can finish our talk from earlier."

"Deal!" They practically shout at me. I'm not sure if they are more excited at my help with the dessert or the continuation of our earlier discussion.

"Alice, you get out the blender and food processor and set the oven to 400. Rose you go get the music going. And I'll get everything else prepped."

Five minutes later Rose and Alice have both rejoined me at the counter. "Rose, what are we going to be listening to while you two learn from the master?"

"Whatever," she rolls her eyes. "At first I was going to select some love songs since we are making these for the guys….but then I thought we needed something else." Just then _Satisfaction _starts playing.

"Thanks Rose, I didn't know you were so funny," I roll my eyes right back. "These desserts should have them eating out of the palm of your hand by the end of the night. Quite literally if you wish, I'm sure." Now it's my turn to wiggle my brows suggestively.

We spend the next 45 minutes dancing, mixing and talking. I tell the girls all about how Jake prefers a silent partner and doesn't like simple suggestions like 'harder' or 'faster' and didn't take too kindly when I tried to nibble on his nipple or ask him to be more 'assertive' with me. He didn't like it so much when I tried to take control either. "He's just so vanilla!" I tell them, let my frustration thru loud and clear.

We place the cheesecakes in the oven and set the timer and make our way into the living room.

"So what you're telling us, Isabella," Rose looking like she's going to make some grand declaration, "is that you are 'a lady in the streets, but a freak between the sheets.'"

We all laugh hysterically at the way she just puts it out there. "Well, I'd like to be, but Jake won't let me. Most men would kill to have a woman want to do the things I want to try, but I think Jake is stuck in the 1920's."

"That is definitely a problem."

"Thanks Rose, I hadn't figured that out yet. If only you two could help me with something useful, like what I'm going to do about it… but no, no help there." I smile to let them know I'm joking around. "Okay, look, I'm gonna stick around until the cheesecakes are ready to come out, then I'm going to take off. But you have to promise me one thing, save me a slice of each. And you probably don't want to keep the leftovers around, send them home with the guys, you will hate yourselves if you keep it here and eat it all, trust me. Now, I want to see what you were gushing about earlier at lunch, Rose, what is it that Alice and I both need to get for ourselves?"

After Rose showed me what she called her 'magic hat rabbit', we all discussed a few more recommendations with each other. Then made our way downstairs and took the pies out of the oven. I gave the girls a few more directions for the desserts and took off for home to get ready for dinner with Jake, Leah and Sammy. I was in a thoughtful mood on the way home so I selected my _Soothing Sounds_ play list and contemplated what I was going to do next.

As soon as I got home Jake and I headed next door. While I helped Leah finish up getting dinner ready, Jake went and played a few games of _Go Fish_ with Sammy. Dinner was just as good as always. Leah and I traded a few inside jokes from the night before which made Jake eye the pair of us suspiciously, which in turn only made us laugh more.

When Jake and I went home, we watched a little bit of tv before I decided to go to bed around ten. Jake decided to stay up, saying he wanted to watch the news first. I stood in the doorway for a bit, just watching Jake. He didn't even try to stay up, he laid right down on the sofa and was snoring before the next commercial break. And when I woke up the next morning to get ready for work, he was still there.

I started a pot of coffee and finished getting ready for work. I filled my travel mug for my commute to work before waking Jake. When I saw that he was still on the sofa when I came out of the bedroom this morning I started a whole new train of thought. It's almost like he knows that we don't belong together and he's just waiting for me to do something about it. This pisses me off. Does he really lack the back bone to stand up for himself? Is he really content just living like this until someone else makes the decision for him? Now my blood is boiling!

"JAKE, WAKE UP!" He sits up looking a little startled at my yelling.

"Ok, I'm up. I'm up."

"JACOB …" I pause to get myself under control, "Jacob, we need to have a serious talk." I look at my watch, if I don't leave soon I'll be late, "but not right now, I need to get to work. I'm sure you'll be working late all this week, and then 'staying up to catch the news'" I say making air quotes. I know I'm being snarky, but I can't help it. "and then sleeping on the sofa all night, but you need to pick a night that you can put everything else aside so that we can talk. And that's the only choice you have in this matter, you got me?"

"Ok, yeah, sure, fine. But what did I do? I don't understand what's going on."

"No, of course you don't Jacob! But I don't have time to spell it out for you right now." And then I turned and walked out the door.

* * *

A/N: Leave me a review, let me know what you think.

Have any of you ever played this fun little game when buying condoms? If so, what did you buy with them to try to get a reaction from the clerk?

What do you think of our Bella now that she's shown she is showing a bit more of herself?


	6. Not Myself

**Sorry for the delay in updates, this chapter took a bit more to get it all out. Every time I went back to it, it changed on me.**

**Music for this chapter:  
Freakshow - Britney Spears  
S.E.X. - Nickelback  
It's Not My Time - 3 Doors Down  
Get Low - Lil Jon  
Not Myself Tonight - Christina Aguilara  
Love, Sex and Magic - Ciara & Justin Timberlake  
Boys - Britney Spears  
Lullaby - The Spill Canvas**

* * *

**EPOV**

Monday - Office appointments, check on the kids at the hospital, head home to eat, go for an evening run, shower and head to bed.

Tuesday - Morning surgeries, check on the kids upstairs, stop by the office for tomorrow's surgery schedule, head home to eat, do some laps in the pool, shower and head to bed.

Wednesday - same as Tuesday except for the laps in the pool, today I went to the gym for kick boxing.

Thursday - just like Monday.

Friday - I love Fridays. A couple consultations in the morning then I go over to the hospital to check on the kids and head home around lunch time.

Wow, it has been a long week, but now that Friday is here I can relax a bit. I'm on my way home from the hospital after making my Friday delivery.

Most of the other doctors I know, except for my father, take off every Wednesday for tee time. Other than the fact that I hate golf, I prefer to spend that little bit of extra time with my patients and work half days on Fridays. Much like today, after my office appointments I stopped by the hospital to visit my patients, wish everyone a good weekend and drop off my weekly delivery. While I was there I asked the Head Nurse about tomorrow afternoon and possibly coming in with my guitar and playing for the kids. I've done this before and on occasion it sparks the attention of one of the kids and they show an interest in learning to play. Music seems to always be the first thing cut in the schools when funding falls short and that is quite unfortunate. Music is like laughter, it's good for the soul.

After checking with Admin, it was confirmed that I'd come back at 10 tomorrow and play for the kids before lunch. I chose pediatric surgery for a reason, the kids. They make it all worth it.

As I pull into the garage my phone beeps with a new text message.

**Dinner wit grls 2nite. Meet us 4 drinx l8r MidSun? -EMC**

**Sure thing. Let me know what time and I'll meet up -E**

Well, it looks like I'm on my own for dinner. I'll just take some of Mom's leftovers out of the freezer for dinner. Looking thru the freezer I pick out my dinner and set it on the counter to thaw. I set the alarm on my phone so I don't lose track of time and go grab my guitar to practice. Four hours later I'm thankful for setting the alarm, I heat my dinner and eat it. I see the last slice of cheesecake that the guys brought home and decided they could be mad at me all they want, that was the best damn cheesecake I had ever had and I'm eating it. I head upstairs to take a shower and get ready. I check my phone and see that I'm to meet them around 8:30. I've never been to Midnight Sun but I hear it's the dance club to go to around here. I'm not trying to impress anyone tonight so I dress in black jeans and a striped button-up and roll the sleeves up a couple times. I look in the mirror at my hair and decide there's really no point, it's just going to do what it always does, so I just run my fingers thru it and walk down to the garage. Tonight I think I'll take my newest toy, my Camero SS. I get in and listen to the rumble Ruby makes when I start her up. I had to have some things done to her to make her sound like the muscle car that she is, but man is she worth it.

As I park Ruby I see that Jasper, Emmett, Alice and Rosalie are waiting for me in the parking lot and walking over to me.

"Hey," I hollered, "you could have gone inside, you didn't have to wait out here for me. I'm a big boy." I chuckle, knowing what's coming.

Emmett laughs knowing I know what he's thinking. "That's what she said," he says, not able to stop himself.

"Sweet ride," I hear from Rosalie.

"Thanks, I just got her two weeks ago. I was going to wait until next year for the convertible, but I got impatient."

Alice looks over at Rosalie, "Bella is going to flip when she sees this car. She's been dreaming about the new Camero since that silly robot movie."

"First, Transformers was not a 'silly robot movie.' And second, Bumblebee is freakin' awesome! But when I saw Ruby here, she took my breath away."

Rosalie rolls her eyes, "you men and your cars."

"Give it a break Rose, you are the same way," Alice giggles.

"Yeah, I know. But seriously, Bella is going to cream when she sees this. Speaking of Bella, that's why we are waiting for you out here. Just before we got here she called us. Something went down tonight, she's at our place and I think we need to go get her. I think a few drinks and dancing would do her some good to get the Royal Rumble from earlier off her mind."

"Royal Rumble?" I ask.

Emmett elbows me with a wink while Rosalie continues to explain. "It seems Bella and Jake had it out earlier and have decided to call it quits. I imagine Alice and I will get the details over the next few days since she's going to be staying with us for a while. But all I know right now is they are no longer together."

"Okay, then let's go get her." I'm trying not to sound so eager but from the looks of surrounding company I wasn't that convincing.

"We can all fit in the hummer, why don't we take that?" Emmett speaks up.

"Um," I look down trying not to sound crazy, "I would rather not leave Ruby here if I'm not just inside. I'll just follow behind you guys. Plus, I really haven't had a chance to drive her much yet." Damn, I should have just went with the latter excuse.

"Whatever, let's just go so we can get back. I'm ready to shake my ass." I look over to Alice, a bit surprised by her statement. "What, it's been a long week. What would you rather me say? 'I'm ready get my groove on? Bump and grind? Get down with my bad self?'" Okay, now she's rolling her eyes at me.

I can do nothing but chuckle at her, "let's just go get your girl so we can get back and Alice can shake her ass."

I follow behind the others for 20 minutes before pulling into a driveway. As we all get out of the cars we can here music from inside the house. "Hey Alice, sounds like you can do some ass-shakin while we're here."

Alice runs to the door. I'm a little confused by her rush. After opening the door she turns to look for Rose and shakes her head and looks worried. Now I feel the need to rush inside to see what's wrong, but I refrain and follow the others inside. I stop dead in my tracks at the sight before me. Bella is singing and dancing, the way she's moving is entrancing. Bella is moving her body in perfect rhythm to _Freakshow_. I'm having a hard time looking away from the way she's moving her hips.

Rose quickly turns to warn us, "it looks like she already started. It should be an interesting night." Alice grabs Rosalie to pull her toward Bella where they join her in dancing. The guys and I sit down and watch the show. When the song ends Alice walks over and turns off the music.

Bella grabs the bottle of Patron that is sitting on the table, which Rosalie swipes from her just before she puts it to her lips. "I think you're good for now." To which Bella just shrugs her shoulders.

Bella then turns to the three of us sitting, "What's up Buttercup?" looking at Jasper, "Sweet Cheeks?" looking at Emmett, then turning to me "Cupcake?" wagging her eyebrows at each of us. Then she giggles. The three of us look to each other, thoroughly confused expressions across our faces.

"Care to explain?" Emmett asks.

"Sure, your hair reminds me of butter so you are Buttercup. And you have the cutest little dimples, so you are Sweet Cheeks. And to be honest, I'm too drunk and stressed to remember your names." There's that giggle again.

"Wait? What about me? Why am I Cupcake?" Why did she leave me out of that explanation?

Her face turns beet red and her hands cover her mouth, trying to stifle her giggle. She leans down to my ear to whisper, I'm assuming not wanting anyone else to hear, but too drunk for volume control.

"You are Cupcake because I want to lick icing off of you." And then she barely touched the tip of her tongue to my earlobe.

It's obvious that everyone heard what she just said by the stifled laughter in the room, but I think I just came in my pants. Right here. In front of everyone.

Trying to regain my composure I suggest heading back to the club.

Rose agrees, "that's a great idea. By the look of that bottle she had a grip on, we need to get her dancing to get all that tequila out of her system." Alice pulls Bella over to help her put her shoes on while Rosalie gives us instructions, "I need the three of you to make sure she has nothing but water to drink the rest of the night. You need to understand, this is not the usual Bella we are dealing with tonight. It's not my place to tell you exactly what's going on with her, hell, I don't even have the whole story yet. But just know, as the oldest, Bella has always been the responsible one. She's never been the wild and crazy partier. Hell, I don't think she's ever truly been drunk before, so this is going to hit her hard in the morning. I'm actually surprised to see how drunk she is right now, this is so out of character for her, so please don't hold it against her." Looking directly at me towards the end.

"No problem, we'll help however we can," I volunteer, looking at the guys as they nod in agreement. "Looks like Alice was able to help Bella get her shoes on, I'm ready to go if you are."

We walk out to the driveway, Rosalie and Alice helping Bella to the hummer. Which was working until she saw me walk past toward Ruby.

"Woah, wait a minute! Is that…?" I guess she spotted my car. "I'm not riding in this box on wheels. I'm riding with Cupcake." Bella tears herself away from Alice and Rosalie who each had one of her arms. She stumbles a bit after freeing herself, but rights herself and almost runs to my car. She looks up at me, suddenly becoming shy, "if that's okay with you?"

"I would be delighted," I offered my hand while opening the door and helping her in. I shut her door and walk around to get in. I get in and watch her for a moment as she gently glides her fingers across the dash in front of her. Then she turns and smiles at me. Without looking away, I turn the key to bring Ruby to life. Her eyes close and she tilts her head back to rest on the seat and moans in appreciation. She's going to be the death of me.

The honking from the hummer breaks me from my trance that is Bella. I put the car in gear and back out of the driveway. I chance a glance to my right and see that Bella is still watching me. I break my eyes away and hand her my iPod, "how about you find us something good to listen to."

She takes the iPod and spends a few minutes scrolling thru, "this one, right here. My own personal theme song. Mind if I turn it up a bit?"

"Go for it."

As the bass and guitar start thumping I start wondering how someone could let this Goddess walk away without regret. Then I wonder, would this be happening if she hadn't been drinking. I chance another look at her and see that she has her eyes closed and her head back again and starts mouthing the words. Right now she doesn't look all that drunk.

_You know there's a dirty word  
__Never gonna say it first  
__No, it's just a thought  
__That never crosses my mind_

I can't help but to keep looking over at her. Ever so slightly dancing in the passenger seat of my car. I think this just became my favorite song. She opens her eyes and looks at me while singing the chorus.

_S is for the simplety  
E is for the ecstasy  
X is just to mark the spot  
'Cause that's the one you really want_

_Yes, sex is always the answer,  
it's never a question  
'Cause the answer's yes,  
oh the answer's yes  
Not just a suggestion,  
if you ask a question  
Then it's always yes_

Of course sex isn't always the answer, and in this case it certainly isn't, but damn if she isn't making me want it to be. I step on the gas a bit, we need to get to the club and get there fast. I don't know how long I can be in this car with her and be able to control myself.

The song ends and she turns the volume down and the music floats into _It's Not My Time. _This time when I look over she looks solemn and I see her wipe a tear from her cheek. I can't take this, she looks so sad, I have to change that. I pick up my iPod and select the next song, hoping to get her back in the mood she was in when we picked her up. Lucky for me, she pops right back into the happy-dancing Bella as she sings along to _Get Low_ as we pull in to the parking lot for Midnight Sun. I turn the car off, but since the music doesn't stop until the door opens I just sit and watch her and enjoy. I see her sisters walking to the car, looking at us like we are crazy for still sitting in the car. I guess it's time to go in. I step out of the car and walk around to help Bella and open her door, offering my hand. I'm thrilled when she not only accepts my hand, but then grabs my arm as we walk toward the club.

She looks up at me, "thanks, I needed that." I just look at her and smile. "Have you seen _The Proposal_?"

"No, can't say that I have."

"Well, we're going to have to change that. That song is in the movie and it's my favorite part." Then she gets the biggest smile on her face that I have seen so far. "Hey girls," she calls ahead, "tomorrow night is movie night and I know just the movies we're watching."

"Yes Mama Bella," they say together.

"Cupcake, Sweet Cheeks and Buttercup should come over too!" she says

"Yes Mama Bella."

"Hey Bellie Button, do we get a say in this?" Emmett asks.

"Hmmm," Bella looks contemplative, as if she's actually considering his question, but I can see the spark in her eye. She walks over to Emmett, still not letting go of my arm. If she were a foot taller she'd be eye to eye with him now, "nope, I don't believe you do. You'll be there, and you'll like it," she says as she pokes him in the chest, daring him to challenge her authority. The rest of us are trying so desperately to hold back our laughs.

"Yes Mama Bella," now Emmett has conceded with the same response the girls gave.

I'm liking this feisty side and hope it's not just the alcohol talking.

We make our way in and find a table off to the side and each order a drink. Bella doesn't put up too much of a fight when a bottle of water is ordered for her. Before the drinks arrive, the girls make their way out onto the dance floor, making sure we can see them from where we are. After a minute or so of watching, Jasper decides to join the ladies on the dance floor while Emmett and I wait for the drinks.

"So, Ed, man. Sounds like the door just opened up for you and Bella."

"Em, I don't know."

"Come on man, did you not see the way she was looking at you? She wants you!"

"She's hurting, she's going to need some time to get over this first. You should have seen her in the car. For now, I think it's going to be just friends for us. Don't get me wrong, I would love to be more for her, but I think that's going to have to wait."

The drinks get delivered and I quickly drink half of my beer while Emmett holds up his to let the ladies and Jasper know the drinks have arrived.

Slowly the girls and Jasper dance their way over to get their drinks. Once they get to the table they all pick up their drinks and take a sip, except for Bella, she downs half her bottle and looks like she ready to head back out to the dance floor.

"Alright, who's going back out there with me? I need to dance some more. Thank God for those classes in college that taught me how to move it and not fall over. Lord knows I'm so sexually repressed I need to get all this energy out somehow." I heard her mumble something else about Jake, but now didn't seem like the time to try to get her to explain. She looked so cute bouncing around mouthing the words to _Not Myself Tonight_, I couldn't help but block out everything else around me.

"This is the perfect song for tonight," Bella stated as if it were obvious. "Listen," then she proceeded to belt out to the song, keeping my attention while she moved her body so deliciously.

_I'm out of character  
I'm in rare form  
and If you really knew me  
you'd know its not the norm  
Cause I'm doing things that I normally won't do  
the old me's gone I feel brand new  
and if you don't like it fuck you_

_The music's on and I'm dancing  
I'm normally in the corner just standing  
I'm feeling unusual  
I don't care cause this is my night_

_I'm not myself tonight  
tonight I'm not the same girl same girl  
I'm not myself tonight  
tonight I'm not the same girl same girl_

The longer she sang the more she danced, no longer needing the crowd of the dance floor.

_I'm dancing a lot and I'm taking shots  
I'm feeling fine  
I'm kissing all the boys and the girls  
someone call the doctor cause I lost my mind_

_Cause I'm doing things that I normally won't do  
the old me's gone  
I feel brand new  
and if you don't like it fuck you_

The music's on and I'm dancing  
I'm normally in the corner just standing  
I'm feeling unusual  
I don't care cause this is my night

_I'm not myself tonight  
tonight I'm not the same girl same girl  
I'm not myself tonight  
tonight I'm not the same girl same girl_

_In the morningwhen I wake Up  
I'll go back to the girl I used to be  
but baby not tonight_

I'm not myself tonight  
tonight I'm not the same girl same girl  
I'm not myself tonight  
tonight I'm not the same girl same girl

Yah, that feels good  
I needed that  
get crazy  
let's go  
that's right  
come on  
give it to me  
now, don't stop

"Alright, you talked me into it. Let's go," and I grabbed her hand and urged her to pull me towards the dance floor.

Reveling in the current coursing thru my hand as it wrapped around hers. Once we got to the spot of her choosing on the dance floor she dropped my hand. Not ready to be empty of the electrical feeling between us I gently re-grasped her hand and spun her around, grabbed her hips and pulled her towards my body. Loving the torture that the contact provided, I briefly closed my eyes only to open them to her singing along again. I think the djay is trying to kill me with his choice of _Love Sex and Magic_. But as I opened my eyes to watch her as she sang, that's when I saw it. She was looking directly into my eyes and instead of the pain that I saw last week, I now saw a sparkle. It was like she was singing _to_ me.

_Your touch is so magic to me  
The strangest things can happen  
The way that you react to me  
I wanna do something you can't imagine  
Imagine if there was a million me's talking sexy to you like that  
You think you can handle, boy  
If I give you my squeeze and I need you to push it right back  
Baby, show me, show me  
What's your favorite trick that you wanna use on me  
And I'll volunteer  
And I'll be flowing and going  
Till clothing disappears, ain't nothing but shoes on me  
Oh, baby_

_All night, show it, just you and the crowd  
Doing tricks you never seen  
And I bet that I can make you believe  
In love and sex and magic  
So let me drive my body around you  
I bet you know what I mean  
Cause you know that I can make you believe  
In love and sex and magic_

So I did the only logical thing there was to do, I sang back. Our hands were all over each other but our eyes never left the other's.

_Everything ain't what it seems  
I wave my hands and I got you  
And you feel so fly assisting me  
But now it's my turn to watch you  
I ain't gonna stop you if you wanna crowd my neck  
Talk sexy to me like that  
Just do what I taught you, girl  
When I give you my heat and I need you to push it right back_

We finished out the song and sang out the last part together.

_Oh, this is the part where we fall in love  
Oh, let's slow it down so we fall in love  
But don't stop what you're doing to me_

I never really cared for that song, but now I think I might like it. We continued dancing, keeping constant contact regardless of the song. For a while she was turned with her back up against me which gave me the perfect opportunity to glide my hand across her stomach when she reached an arm over her head and ran her fingers across the back of my neck and into my hair. The only time we separated on the dance floor was when she felt the need to challenge me yet again and sing some silly song by Britney Spears about boys. And damn if I wouldn't have loved to throw her over my shoulder and take her home right then. She's such a sexy little vixen.

After many trips back to the table to re-hydrate and the countless songs we danced to, she suggested we leave. The others weren't quite ready to leave yet, said they were going to stay until they got kicked out. So I offered to take Bella home. Bella agreed, but once we approached the car and I opened the door for her, she paused and turned to look at me with a bit of hesitation. "Do you mind if we don't head back to the house right away? I don't think I'm ready to go to bed alone just yet. And I wouldn't mind spending some more time in this cream-worthy car of yours." She said with a wink.

"Yeah, sure. Would you like for me to stop and grab something for us to drink?"

"That sounds great."

Once we parked at the corner store I rolled the windows down and left the car running. After I got out of the car I realized I had no idea what she would like to drink, so I just walked around to the other side of the car and poked my head in the window. She had the seat slightly reclined and her head tilted back and towards the window, I gave a chaste kiss to the top of her head and moved the hair that had fallen in her face, "what would you like to drink, sweetheart?"

"Mmm, water's good, probably the smart choice. Thank you."

"Sure thing, I'll be right back." I went into the store and picked up two bottles of water, a Cherry-coke, a bag of pretzels and a few things she may need for the morning. After making my purchase I walk out to the car to see that Bella is now sitting up and looking thru my iPod with a grin on her face.

"Something you find amusing there?" I asked, not understanding what could be so funny about my music.

"I hope you don't mind," she said raising the device to indicate that she wasn't trying to be nosey. I shook my head to let her know it was okay. "But I'm really digging your High School play list. I remember these songs like it was yesterday."

"Yes, some of those songs are quite…interesting. There are a few that were from before I was in high school, but it just felt wrong to call it Old School, I don't feel old," I said with a chuckle. I backed out of the parking spot and made to leave the store's parking lot. "Any where in particular you would like to go? Or just not home?"

A look of sadness crossed her face, "anywhere is fine, really."

"I know a spot we can go and talk if you want?"

"That sounds perfect."

After a few minutes we pulled into the parking lot by a boat landing that overlooked a lake and turned the car off but left the music playing. "How's this?"

Her response was a simple smile, but it spoke volumes. I reached in the back to pull out the bottle of water for her and my Cherry-Coke and the bag of pretzels. "I thought these might help a bit too. It will be helpful to have something in your stomach." I opened the bag and offered them to her, to which she took a couple.

"You do know this is going to get crumbs in your car?"

I smiled to let her know it was okay, "that's why they make vacuums." There was a period of silence while be both looked out over the water. "Can I ask you a question?"

"Well, I'd say yes, but you already asked one. But for you, I'll let you ask another." She was back to being playful and I didn't want to make her sad again, but there was something I had to know.

"I'll remember that for next time. Why did you look so sad when I mentioned 'home'?"

Suddenly the smile left her face and looked down to her lap where her hands twisted the other and I immediately regretted asking something that I knew would take the smile from her face. She inhaled deeply, "well, I just left the only home I've known for the last 6 years, where I left behind the man that I thought would be my 'home' for the rest of my life since I was 16, and moved in to my sisters' home. And that really doesn't feel like my home."

"Wow, since you were 16? That's a long time."

"Jake and I were best friends growing up, since we were about 2. Then in high school, when we were 15 we decided to try the whole boyfriend/girlfriend thing, and that's been us ever since. We always said if it didn't work we would make sure we could go back to being best friends. Which is nice in theory. And maybe someday we can get that back. We have such a history, that may be a bit difficult."

"What happened to make it not work anymore? If you don't mind me asking."

"Oh, no, it's fine. I think we just both grew and changed. One of us more than the other," she smirked. "And now, we just aren't as compatible. For a while now it has felt like we are back to just being friends instead of …" she trailed off. She looked up at me and even with the dim moonlight I could tell she was blushing.

"Instead of what?"

"Oh lordy-bee. I don't know why I still get embarrassed over the silliest of things at the oddest times." She covered her face with her hands, rubbing up and down almost as to clear her embarrassment. "Instead of lovers. I don't know why that was so hard to say."

"It's okay. Really." I reached out to grab her hand. "But did you just say 'lordy-bee'?" I had to bring that smile back to her face, and it worked.

"Yes, I did. I get it from my mom. She's always saying things like that, 'lordy-bee, golly-gosh,' I kind of picked it up from her and half the time I don't even realize I say it. I'm such a dork sometimes."

"No, it's endearing."

She rolled her eyes, "oh please, you don't have to humor me."

"No, really. I love that you don't try to hide who you really are. I'm so used to only being around women that are constantly trying to be someone they're not. It's refreshing."

"Yeah, well, I'm not so sure I really know who I am. Who I am has been partially defined by my relationship with Jake for more than a decade. And even with that there was part of me that knew that wasn't who I was. But I tried, I really tried." There were now tears trailing down her cheeks.

I reached over and swiped my thumb across her cheeks to wipe the tears away. "Bella, look at me. You are not defined by a failed relationship. Unless you were the only one in the relationship, which I find almost impossible. Unless you have multiple personalities…you don't have multiple personalities do you?" I questioned her trying to keep a straight face.

"No," she giggle, "only one personality."

"Oh, good, that was a close one." I sarcastically wiped my brow. "But in all seriousness, and please feel free to tell me to mind my own business if you don't want to answer this, does this lack of compatibility have anything to do with the sexual repression you mentioned earlier?"

"Oh God, I said that didn't I? I should have left that bottle of Patron alone I can't seem to keep things to myself when I drink too much. Which is probably why I was never really much of a drinker." She took a deep breath.

"You don't have to answer that. I just…" she cut me off.

"No it's okay. I guess I already kind of put it out there. Yes, it was becoming quite obvious lately that we are no longer sexually compatible."

"How so? If you don't…."

"No really it's okay. I need to learn to talk about this stuff. That could be where part of the problem was. I couldn't talk to him outside the bedroom and he wouldn't let me talk in the bedroom." And the blush was back.

"He wouldn't _let_ you talk in the bedroom? I'm confused."

"Jake and I were each other's firsts, and only at this point. We learned so much together but we never really … we just got comfortable. And then it got uncomfortable. He expected me to want what I've always wanted. He … just expected Vanilla for the rest of his life and I want a bit more variety. Don't get me wrong, Vanilla is good every once in a while, but sometimes I want Chocolate, or Mint Chocolate Chip, or Moose Trax, or …"

"Okay, should I stop back by the store and get you some ice cream?" I raised my brow to let her know I was kidding.

"Maybe next time, but thank you." She smiled and seemed to relax a bit.

"How about I go ahead and take you back to your sisters' place and get you to bed?" She nodded in agreement. "Where's your phone?" She handed it over. "I'm going to put my number in your phone and you can call me anytime to talk about anything you need to talk about. I don't ever want you to feel like you can't talk to someone."

"Anything?" she leaned toward me and challenged me. I really like this side of her.

I leaned over across the center console bring our faces just inches from each other. I grazed the back of my knuckles across her cheek, looked her straight in the eye, "Anything. Anytime." Then I reached up and kissed her forehead.

In the 20 minute drive back to Rose and Alice's place she had fallen asleep. I pulled in the driveway and the living room lights were still on and I hoped the front door was unlocked. I grabbed the bag out of the back seat and walked around to get Bella. I didn't want to wake her, she's had a rough day. I scooped her up bridal style and walked up to the door. Carefully opening the door, thankful it wasn't locked, I saw four sets of eyes watching me closely. "I'm just going to go put her in her bed." They nodded without question.

I gently laid her down and tried to move the blankets so that she could cover up when she started to stir. "Shhhh, Bella baby, just go back to sleep."

"No, I need to change out of these clothes. I can't sleep in this."

"Okay, well I'll just …" I motioned toward the door.

"Please don't go yet. I'll just change real quick in the closet."

I sat on the bed and waited. It didn't take her long and when she walked out of the closet I tried not to stare. But all she had on was a t-shirt and all I could see was her legs. "Um, yeah. You should probably get in this bed and cover up before I do something I really shouldn't do."

"Oh please, you couldn't possibly find this sexy," she said rolling her eyes and motioning towards herself then climbing in the bed. She patted the bed next to her and I moved to sit next to her propped up against the headboard.

"And why not? You know, it's not just the wrapping that makes the woman sexy." She scooted closer and draped her arm across my stomach, snuggling up to me.

"Whatever Teddy."

"Teddy? Where did that come from?" I hated when anyone called me by any variation of Edward, but this I just might like.

"Yeah Teddy. Like teddy bear. It feels good to hug you and you are very comforting, just like a teddy bear."

"Hmm, but am I still Cupcake too?" I asked, wondering if she remembered and still felt the same as earlier.

"Yes," she said while trying to tickle my side until I grabbed her hand and entwined my fingers with hers. "You are still Cupcake too. But I thought maybe Cupcake wasn't a nickname I should use in front of everyone, not all the time anyway."

"Okay, I guess that works. How about you go ahead and go back to sleep and I will see you," I glanced over to the clock, "later tonight for movie night. What time should we be back?"

"Will you stay until I go to sleep? And I'll call you tomorrow when I'm more coherent to let you know what time?"

"I can do that. How about you roll over and get comfy?"

"But I'm comfy like this," she said squeezing me tighter.

"Yes, but how would I get up without waking you once you go to sleep?"

"Fine," she rolled over and then mumbled, "you could just stay the night. I won't attack you."

"Come on now, it isn't like that. I have some things I have to do in the morning before I head to the hospital." I cuddled up behind her, "how's this?"

"Wonderful."

"Good, how about you let me sing you to sleep?"

"Yes please."

I moved the hair away from her face and neck and started to sing her a lullaby.

_It's the way that you blush when you're nervous  
__It's your ability to make me earn this  
I know that you're tired  
Just let me sing you to sleep_

It's about how you laugh out of pity  
'Cause let's be honest, I'm not really that funny  
I know that you're shy  
Just let me sing you to sleep

If you need anything  
Just say the word, I mean anything  
Rest assured, if you start to doze  
Then I'll tuck you in  
Plant my lips where your necklace is closed

She was now breathing steadily so I knew she was sleeping. I slowly removed my arm from her waste, placed a kiss on the back of her neck and got up from the bed. I took the items out of the bag and placed them on the bedside table. I scribbled out a note on the pad of paper I saw on the desk and folded it to place next to the bottle of water. I quietly left the bedroom and saw that our siblings had not left the living room. They were all looking at me with a big question on their faces but it seemed no one wanted to speak up.

"We went to the boat landing and talked for a bit. She was pretty sober by the time we left the club but she's probably still going to be hurting in the morning. I'll stop back by on my way to the hospital in the morning. Let me know if there is anything you need me to bring by. Goodnight guys." And I turned and walked out the door to go home.

**BPOV**

I rolled over, momentarily confused as to where I was. Just before panic set in I realized I was in Rose and Alice's guestroom, also known as home until I find another place. I turn my head to look at the clock, "mother-fudger, ow." I cover my eyes with my arm to try to keep my head from exploding. Slowly I remove my arm and focus on the clock sitting on the unusually crowded side-table. I see that it's almost noon already and then look at the other items on the table next to the alarm clock. A bottle of water, a beautiful vase with a handful of peonies and a napkin with 2 little pills and a cupcake. Hmm, well isn't that interesting.

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**So, was the wait worth it? Let me know how you liked it. The more reviews I get the more amped I am to keep writing.**


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